I think I'm in over my head [View all]

Several weeks back I subbed for a another caregiver on a Saturday for a dementia client. I was told this dementia client has a tendency to wonder and her husband was having some serious surgery at the hospital. There was some sort of tumor removed from the back of his tongue.

The following Saturday I was asked if I could be there again. They needed someone and the wife really liked me. So it was asked if I could be a regular of at this house and I took the opportunity because it's less than a 10 minute drive compared to a 30 minute drive and it's giving me more hours.


On Monday of the 22nd I started at this home and apparently the wife hadn't been given her medication the night before so she was agitated on this morning. I arrived to relieve the other caregiver and this caregiver was waiting for a ride. Both the wife and husband were calling us squatters and threatening to call the police. I had to call their healthcare proxy and them know what was happening. I didn't know that they both had dementia and both had Silver Alerts.

By Thursday they're giving me hugs and telling me that they love me, which is good. I seem to be getting away with things that the other caregivers can't get away with. One of those things is getting the husband to change his clothes, although I still can't get anyone to bath or shower. I'm wondering I should ask the healthcare proxy for no rinse body wash.

Btw, the husband isn't as far gone as the wife is. I can get him fluids, food and clothing changes without any issues. Sorry if I repeat myself.


I'm use to being one on one care. I'm not use to caregiving for 2 separate people at the same time. Yes, my pay-rate went way up for doing this double work.


This is my second week in. There's other people coming in and out so there's not a set schedule and therefore I can't set a schedule. The people coming in and out are nurses, speech therapist, and a dietitian . The entire caregiving team is recording the husbands intake of regular solid food. He eats really well for me and has a feeding tube (I don't do the feeding tube). I'm suppose to push food and fluids on the wife and I generally can't get her too each too much. Although I have to say that she did really fantastic eating for me today, first time ever.

I watched some YouTube videos on how to keep pushing water on people with dementia. So now I keep very small glasses of water on the kitchen table for both of my clients at all times. The wife keeps picking them up to clear the table. I explain to her each time that we need to keep filled glasses on water on the table at all times to prevent her husband from getting dehydrated and put back into the hospital.

Some of the things that I asked for on the grocery list was strawberries (to infuse regular water with the strawberries for flavoring) and watermelon since it helps with hydration.

Today a different unscheduled nurse arrived because of a particular reason. The husband wanted to take a nap after this nurse took vitals and asked questions. I let him take a nap because he's suppose to be resting. Then a physical therapist showed up that I had no idea was coming and I felt bad about waking him up. He keeps telling everyone that he has a headache.

We have to hide the food log book, medications and that sort of thing because the wife takes off with the stuff.

By the way, my team group chat is still going off as I type this because the caregiver before me and the caregiver after me had mentioned there's blood issues happening after the husband is using the toilet to urinate. He couldn't urinate for me even though I pushed a bunch of water and juices on him today before the nurse got there.

If anyone has any helpful and insightful tips or hints, I sure could use some. Dementia is a terrible thing to have happen to anyone. I've had dementia clients but not really this far advanced.

I'm going out tonight for family stuff, but I'll be back sometime later or tomorrow. Thank you.