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JudyM

(29,683 posts)

32. Memory care units are supposed to have more attentive care, not less, so please don't blame yourself.

Reply to Ziggysmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 12, 2026, 12:17 AM

5 hrs ago

Even though blaming ourselves is so common.

I'm wondering if he got a brain CT at a hospital after the second fall or if the facility didn't send him because they assessed him as having no severe injury?

My deepest sympathies to you, Ziggysmom... I went through something similar with my mom this past summer, and I know it's so heart wrenching. Please try to be gentle and forgiving with yourself as much as you can, the raw grief is painful enough without making yourself feel unfairly worse by adding a heavy layer of unwarranted self-blame.

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I feel responsible [View all] Ziggysmom Yesterday OP

honestly, I would get a lawyer Skittles Yesterday #1

Yes, it always seems so sudden. Figarosmom Yesterday #2

yes Skittles Yesterday #4

You need all your energy for you right now. I'm sure no one will be offended... 3catwoman3 Yesterday #3

I hope that you can be at peace. essaynnc Yesterday #5

This is not your fault Bayard Yesterday #6

I am so very sorry Ziggysmom, JMCKUSICK Yesterday #7

My deepest condolences, Ziggysmom. HeartsCanHope Yesterday #8

I wish we could all hug you, literally. Not just with words. calimary Yesterday #9

It's hard not to feel guilty when you lose a loved one who depended are your care and judgement. Ilikepurple Yesterday #10

I am so sorry. It is not your fault. You did what should have been best for him; LoisB Yesterday #11

You are in our prayers RainCaster Yesterday #12

Ziggysmom, you are not responsible. Prairie_Seagull Yesterday #13

Holding you in love and light. Remember that your DU family is here niyad Yesterday #14

My heart goes out to you stage left Yesterday #15

Do not blame yourself, you did everything you could. Grumpy Old Guy Yesterday #16

i'm so sorry this happened. orleans Yesterday #17

Please allow yourself some grace. 10 Turtle Day Yesterday #18

Sending you light and love Ziggysmom. mnhtnbb 23 hrs ago #19

You did what you could with what was available. OldBaldy1701E 22 hrs ago #20

🕯💙🌷 quaint 20 hrs ago #21

I am so sorry. Solly Mack 19 hrs ago #22

Oh, Ziggysmom. I am so sorry for you and your husband. May the memories of your dear husband be a blessing to you. Love, debm55 19 hrs ago #23

Please say to yourself some_of_us_are_sane 15 hrs ago #24

I thought I rsponded to you soon after you posted...but maybe it stayed in Preview and not posted... electric_blue68 10 hrs ago #25

I am very sorry. I cannot change how you feel about your role, but in my opinion you did everything I would have done. NNadir 10 hrs ago #26

Yu did right SuzyandPuffpuff 10 hrs ago #27

My deepest sympathy. Yes, see an attorney. sinkingfeeling 10 hrs ago #28

Peace. cachukis 10 hrs ago #29

You did nothing wrong Alice Kramden 10 hrs ago #30

Most nursing homes are drastically underfunded PoindexterOglethorpe 7 hrs ago #31

Memory care units are supposed to have more attentive care, not less, so please don't blame yourself. JudyM 5 hrs ago #32