this is NOT your fault, that nursing home needs to be held accountable, WTF

very sorry you are having to deal with this

Sorry about your loss and yes it sounds like you should see an attorney. Shouldn't have so many falls whole under care.

and the lack of contact is inhumane and inexcusable

…if you do not respond. We will be holding you in our hearts.

Thanks for reminding me to tell those around me that I love them !!!!

You did the best you could. I'm sure the hand squeeze meant he knew you were there, and appreciated it.

Be kind to yourself.

Please be as kind to yourself as your husband would have been. You made the very best decision with the best information at the time you made it.

You are not responsible for others failure to live up to their duties.

Hold that squeezed hand memory dear, it told you everything you needed from your husband.
If you are comfortable, what is his name?

You are blanketed with love from all of us here at DU

I am so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Sending you love and light.

It sounds like you did all and everything you could for him.

And whenever it is that you might read this, just know that we care about you and are thinking about you A LOT as you go through such a jarring time.

I know prayers are being said, and sent your way. And as I’ve had the pleasure and gratitude of discovering, you’re not alone when you’re part of DU. Someone’s always here, and there’ll always be someone thinking about you and him as well.

Here’s a hug:
(((((((((( * ))))))))))

I’m so sorry for your loss. But, please do not feel guilty. I’m almost positive whatever I say may not help or may only help temporarily. I made the decisions for both of my parents’ end of life care as close to their stated wishes as I could, but still have lingering guilt as to whether I should have done this or that differently. It’s so hard not to second guess your decisions, especially if you think you think you were in error trusting their medical care. I hope you find ways to alleviate the guilt you so unjustly place on yourself.

the nursing home failed you and him.

You are not alone.

Clarity comes in waves.

for you. Lean as hard as you need.

in this time of loss.

I'm sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

We make decisions based on the best information we have at the time. Please do not beat yourself up over the nursing home failing both you and husband. My condolences for your loss.

Please do not hold yourself responsible. I had to put my 90 year old father in memory care 25 years ago. Found him on the floor one Sunday afternoon when my husband and I had gone to visit and watch a football game with him. Ended up moving him to another facility recommended by his MD for skilled nursing care. He was confined to a wheelchair at that point to prevent more falls.
I don't know what the standard of practice is now once dementia patients start having falls. But I can tell you that after several months confined to a wheelchair, unable to feed himself, use the remote for the TV, or read, he decided to stop eating and I supported his decision. He went into a coma after 3 days. I sat with him and read to him on the last day, but had to go home to get dinner for my boys. Planned to pick my husband up at the airport and then return to his bedside. I got a call at 8 pm that he'd regained consciousness and come quickly. When I got there 20 minutes later, he was gone. I have heard other stories that often people who are dying will hold on until their loved ones aren't with them, to let go. We'll never know.
You did the best you could. Please don't hold yourself responsible.

There is no fault to that. You did what was best for him based on your understanding of the situation. The fault is with those who did not handle the situation as expected.

Treated for dangerous dehydration and their response was that they will update his 'care plan'? Really??