General Discussion

niyad

(128,955 posts)

41. It IS tacky. If you cannot afford a big wedding dinner, don't do it.

Mon Nov 24, 2025, 06:02 PM

Nov 24

Same with the rest of the insanely expensive wedding production. Especially when one considers that some 50% of first marriages fail fairly quickly. I have always thought that there were far better uses for all that cash. The cynic in me, I know. And the whole wedding industry does keep a fair number of peeople gainfully employed.

Yes, I know people need occasions and all that. But we are sold a bill of goods about weddings and marriage, despite all the depressing statistics. And yes, I know ther are many good, happy, long-term marriages. Our DU members are proof of that. But, as the old saying goes, "A woman who wants prince charming needs to remember she will be cleaning up after his horse." Yes, I am that cynical.

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niyad PatSeg Grey5

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NEW GOLDEN ERA! Thanksgiving hosts weigh the ethics of CHARGING THEIR GUESTS FOR DINNER. [View all] Miles Archer Nov 24 OP

I think it's a good idea myself. Kingofalldems Nov 24 #1

+1 leftstreet Nov 24 #5

This message was self-deleted by its author Just_Vote_Dem Nov 24 #10

. dalton99a Nov 24 #2

$9.20 for 10 russet potatoes? Yikes! Diamond_Dog Nov 24 #7

My store has an 8 # bag of russets for 3.99 with a loyalty card. Some niyad Nov 24 #11

Prices vary a lot throughout the country (n/t) Retrograde Nov 24 #42

Having lived all over the country, I am, unsurprisingly, well aware of that. niyad Nov 24 #43

Who's paying $21 for a 10 lb frozen turkey? Prairie Gates Nov 24 #15

"Pass the hat for our gracious hosts and cooks!" bucolic_frolic Nov 24 #3

Or just have a potluck. Dulcinea Nov 24 #4

I always cook the turkey, the taters, the turnips, the rolls, and one dessert. Scrivener7 Nov 24 #16

Cluelessly rude is putting it mildly. 3catwoman3 Nov 24 #31

It was so weird and shocking, I didn't really know how to react in the moment. Scrivener7 Nov 24 #32

We always provide the pies Wednesdays Nov 24 #21

Exactly! N/t TexasBushwhacker Nov 24 #33

yes, yes, yes.... markie Nov 24 #35

That is a much more reasonable solution PatSeg Nov 25 #50

I have no problem asking people to bring a dish, or wine or whatever. rsdsharp Nov 24 #6

AYFKM??? Invite my friends, or be invited, and then tell/be told, "fork over"??? niyad Nov 24 #8

Potluck works. Many hands makes light work. SheltieLover Nov 24 #13

Or everyone go to a restaurant. Then each pays their share. Wednesdays Nov 24 #24

An excellent idea. One year, friends and I went to a T-Day buffet. It was niyad Nov 24 #26

Hubby and I aren't with family this year Tree Lady Nov 24 #44

Sounds absolutely lovely. Looking forward to pics! niyad Nov 25 #46

100% nothing wrong with that, my sister has done that for a few years obamanut2012 Nov 24 #9

In lean years, we've done a potluck. Everyone pitch in and bring something to share. Greybnk48 Nov 24 #12

Charging your guest is a shitty thing to do. Omnipresent Nov 24 #14

Your words are true. chouchou Nov 24 #19

If they are being charged, they are customers, not guests. niyad Nov 24 #22

Exactly! Omnipresent Nov 24 #30

I'd die in my chair if my husband wanted to charge for Thanksgiving dinner. chouchou Nov 24 #17

Thankfully, this will be our 32nd year of rejecting Thanksgiving. And, 35 years of booting XMAS. RedWhiteBlueIsRacist Nov 24 #18

AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN Blue Owl Nov 24 #20

ok ok ok ...i've got a plan!!! ret5hd Nov 24 #23

Brilliant!!! niyad Nov 24 #28

Now, why am I thinking of Trump boasting about affordability? Norrrm Nov 24 #25

I would think that asking guests to bring a dish would WhiteTara Nov 24 #27

Dear Nattering Nabobs of Negativism. Things have never been better. Just compare. usonian Nov 24 #29

Ah, spiro. He almost seems normal compared to the current bunch. niyad Nov 25 #47

That is rude, rude, rude. mwmisses4289 Nov 24 #34

I read about this for wedding receptions too! forthemiddle Nov 24 #36

A belated HAPPY 24th DUnniversary to you! niyad Nov 24 #38

It IS tacky. If you cannot afford a big wedding dinner, don't do it. niyad Nov 24 #41

We did ours for $1200 total. SomewhereInTheMiddle Nov 25 #45

Oh I agree PatSeg Nov 25 #52

I prefer the old and tried method of cooking a few of the main dishes, and then have everyone bring their special dishes SWBTATTReg Nov 24 #37

How absolutely cool is that!!! niyad Nov 24 #39

I don't invite people over for events and then charge them. BlueTsunami2018 Nov 24 #40

If you can't afford the meal Bettie Nov 25 #48

If push came to shove, I'd go the potluck route as well. Miles Archer Nov 25 #49

Yep, I would be Bettie Nov 25 #53

What? rzemanfl Nov 25 #51

To me, it's all about the phrasing and the approach. Wednesdays Nov 25 #54

It's the Trump Tax NameAlreadyTaken Nov 25 #55