Straightforward and honest.

Not many people can handle the burden of funding an entire meal. And it also solves the problem of the disappearing "potluck"

of those prices were weird. . and the increases falsely low.

First of all, who can even find a 10 lb frozen turkey? Second of all, frozen turkeys are usually on steep discount, and I mean in .99 or less per pound. Fresh turkey, yes, fine, those will run you $2 - $4 per pound depending on provider (excluding more lux varieties), but a frozen turkey? You can get a 14 pound frozen turkey for .60 a pound. It's cheaper than a 4 pound chicken roaster.

When I'm invited to a friend's house for dinner, I always ask what I can bring. That's just good manners.

Guests each bring a dish.

It works great.

But I was recently invited to a party, accepted the invitation, and then two weeks later was informed by the "hosts" that another guest and I (family members) were expected to bring the entire dinner. I was kind of speechless, and didn't fight it (though that won't happen again). We decided we would get trays from a restaurant, as this party was taking place an hour and a half from our home. The "hosts" then nixed that and insisted we go to the restaurant THEY chose, which added an hour to the trip. They said they were cleaning and providing the house, so we should do the rest.

If it had been discussed at the beginning that we were all going to contribute, that would have been one thing, but I was absolutely floored by how cluelessly rude that whole thing was. At the time I was too shocked to say, "Screw that, I'm busy that day" but I will the next time.

Sheesh - I'd have been pissed the whole time I was there.

Next time, I'll just say, "That doesn't work for me."

Families, man. Never easy.

We're expecting 14-15 guests at my sister's this year. She always makes the turkey, other guests bring the sides and drinks, and we supply dessert. Likely 7 pies of various types.

bring back the potluck.... awful idea to charge those who dine at your Thanksgiving table

just ask people to contribute food if they are able

I can't imagine charging friends and relatives for a holiday meal. If you can't afford to entertain, then don't invite people over, but the idea of going potluck is acceptable and a lot of people already do that.

But I’m not going to charge my guests.

Can we say CRASS, RUDE, OBNOXIOUS?? If one cannot afford a large spread, then don't. Either scale it back or forego it. Or do what my friends and I do. . .a potluck. The one hosting does the main item, everyone else covers everything else. Nobody is stressed about money, time, energy, etc., and a good time is had by all.

And no one has to worry about cooking, hosting, getting the house/apartment ready, etc., nor clean-up afterward.

Buffets are very popular at Thanksgiving.

wonderful. Had a gorgeous view of the Bay, the food was excellent, nobody in my party was stressed (pretty sure that was NOT thhe case for the staff, who, I hope, were well-compensated!), and NO cleanup.

So driving to Oregon coast tomorrow and staying with dog at ocean view hotel. Have reservations down the street for dinner Thursday. Looking forward to it. Sitting by the fire at hotel bar reading my book, so much better than trying to figure out what to say to family.

She says what she's making, which is always the turkey, major sides, cheese board, etc. Everyone says what they are bringing (drinks, desserts, etc.), and give a set price of money to my sister so she can get everything at Costco, Trader Joe's, etc.

Works well.

Non-cooks would bring things like snacks, rolls or drinks. People who cook bring assigned sides (or things they love to prepare or family favs).

Some people still bring pies, and sides, even though we don't need help financially. I just need help because I'm old (77)!

I take that back...His ass would be eating with the dog...in the doghouse.

Last edited Mon Nov 24, 2025, 06:10 PM - Edit history (1)

Have no prob with News Year's Day!

INVITATION:
date, time, etc

Seating Fees:
Premium (lazy-boy) - $40 (1 available)
Regular (couch) - $15 (4 available)
Economy (lawn chair in the garage) $5 (unlimited)

Viewing Fees:
Widescreen HDTV: $20
Portable B&W: $5

Corkage Fee: $10

etc etc etc…

i’m pretty sure NOBODY comes, so problem solved!!!

Not necessarily with positive thoughts.

be far preferable than asking for money.

You invited them over to eat. It's up to you, as the host, to provide the meal.
Or as others have suggested, do a potluck where everyone brings a dish or two. Host/ess provides main, a side and a dessert; guests bring more sides, desserts, and drinks.
But charging your guests? Absolutely not!!

This goes back a couple of years. I read about couples selling tickets for their wedding dinner.
It sounds tacky to me, but maybe this is how the younger generations will do things in the future.
Heck, even dating is Dutch treat more often than not.

Same with the rest of the insanely expensive wedding production. Especially when one considers that some 50% of first marriages fail fairly quickly. I have always thought that there were far better uses for all that cash. The cynic in me, I know. And the whole wedding industry does keep a fair number of peeople gainfully employed.

Yes, I know people need occasions and all that. But we are sold a bill of goods about weddings and marriage, despite all the depressing statistics. And yes, I know ther are many good, happy, long-term marriages. Our DU members are proof of that. But, as the old saying goes, "A woman who wants prince charming needs to remember she will be cleaning up after his horse." Yes, I am that cynical.

Back in 1995 we found a nice venue (Gracie Mansion) in Ausitn, and they had a nice all-inclusive package deal for 30 (or so) people for $1000. Then ~$200 at the Salt Lick for BBQ lunch afterwards for family and the wedding party.

It was great. And low drama/planning. The honeymoon was a 6-week, 10,000-mile road trip. Cost more but was great.

I do not understand the $100k, destination wedding for 500 of your "best friends". The wedding is a day. The marriage is what's supposed to last.

Weddings used to be about celebrating your special day with relatives and close friends, but for many young people, it has become about how they can milk it for as many gifts and money possible.

If they can't afford to entertain their invited guests, then maybe they should just have a small, intimate ceremony or elope. Less stress and expense for everyone. Then they can spend their money on a down payment for a house or furniture.

they are famous for, or bring a dish. When you get all of us together bringing a mess of stuff, it's amazing and wonderful to see what everybody brings in. We do this every year at the local bar that all of us hang out at, every thanksgiving, for those of us that don't travel, that don't have family close by, etc. And it's wonderful!

Happy Thanksgiving All.

It seems tacky. Violating the spirit of hospitality.

I wouldn’t feel right doing that.

either don't host or make it a potluck.

Or, alternatively, let the guests know long before that they will be asked to contribute (when the invitation goes out) and let them decide if it is worth it.

I would never charge a guest for a meal at my home. That feels rude.

I don't think anyone I know would have an issue with that, and would be happy to pitch in.

On the other hand, I think more than a few of my friends would be hurt and offended by my inviting them to dinner and handing them an invoice.

Embarrassed to have to do that.

I guess if we had already extended the invitation and had some kind of disaster, like DH losing his job or something like that, I might send a note about needing to cancel.

Jello molds with shredded carrots and crushed pineapple no longer are accepted????????? Shit, between this and pennies no longer being money, perhaps this old fart has lived too long.

"Hey, this meal is costing me (amount of money). Would everybody be okay with chipping in a few bucks for it?"

As opposed to...

"Here is the menu for the day. There's a $30 cover charge."