WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump boasted on Thursday that his funeral will draw a “much bigger crowd” than former Vice President Dick Cheney’s.

“Dick Cheney, who was a loser and a terrible person, will be lucky to get a thousand people at his funeral,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “My funeral will draw MILLIONS!”

Remarking that “nobody cares” about Cheney’s funeral, Trump said he expects the turnout at his funeral to set records, noting, “Every day, people say to me, ‘Sir, I can’t wait for that day to come.’”