General Discussion

You want to know the truth of what happened? So, I have a safety mechanism. Really, I have a few. They are designed to bring me to a complete stop if their sensors detect some sort of obstruction. Or if they sense that I have been loaded down with more weight than I am rated to hold at one time. No, that is not a comment on Trump’s weight. I’ve carried heavier than him.

Anyway, my safety mechanisms. If you have an untied shoelace, and that shoelace gets caught under the comb safety plate at the top of me while you’re getting off, I immediately shut down. That way, your foot doesn’t get dragged under the comb plate, along with the rest of you, to suffer a grisly death like you’re in one of those Final Destination movies.

This isn’t my choice, it’s automatic. You think there aren’t people I’d like to drag to a grisly death? But I can’t, because my job is to not be noticed. And nothing would get me noticed faster than taking Donald Trump’s leg off at the knee, assuming his barrel-sized ankles could fit under my comb plate.