It's not AI winter just yet, though there is a distinct chill in the air. Meta is shaking up and downsizing its artificial intelligence division. A new report out of MIT finds that 95 percent of companies' generative AI programs have failed to earn any profit whatsoever. Tech stocks tanked Tuesday, regarding broader fears that this bubble may have swelled about as large as it can go. Surely, there will be no wider repercussions for normal people if and when Nvidia, currently propping up the market like a load-bearing matchstick, finally runs out of fake companies to sell chips to. But getting in under the wire, before we're all bartering gas in the desert and people who can read become the priestly caste, is Microsoft, with the single most "Who asked for this?" application of AI I've seen yet: They're jamming it into Excel.

Excel! The spreadsheet program! The one that is already very good at what it does, which is calculation and data analysis. You put some numbers in and it spits some numbers out. According to The Verge, "Microsoft Excel is testing a new AI-powered function that can automatically fill cells in your spreadsheets." Using natural language, the idea goes, you tell it what you want and then the AI will "classify information, generate summaries, create tables, and more."

If you squint a little, or just look at this through the eyes of a person or company with a vested financial interest in shoving AI products into every cranny of your life, you can sort of see the vision. Excel requires some skill to use (to the point where high-level Excel is a competitive sport), and AI is mostly an exercise in deskilling its users and humanity at large. If everything works right, you'll be able to tell the program, in words, broadly what you want it to do, rather than have to learn the formulas that already exist and have for decades, which tell the program exactly what you want it to do.

Ah, but there's a rub. Microsoft explicitly warns users that its AI function should not be used for things like "doing math" or "anything actually important":

What to rethink: Excel’s biggest limitations

When comparing Excel to other spreadsheet programs like Google Sheets, Zoho Sheet, or Apache OpenOffice’s Calc, the differences are fairly minor. But putting it up against today’s best solutions for advanced data analysis shows that it’s limitations are pretty prohibitive:

• Excel can’t handle large datasets or combine different data types and formats.

• Excel doesn’t allow for real-time analytics, machine learning, or any cutting-edge analysis.

• It’s hard to track changes and comments in Excel’s user interface

• Analysts can’t build in guardrails that keep data clean and standardized.

• Excel workflows aren’t secure enough for the modern tech stack.