Kristi Noem And The Horseback Adultery Death Camp Vacation [View all]

It’s the worst Nancy Drew mystery ever!

Why is Director of Homeland Security Kristi Noem riding horses through fields in Argentina with her rumored lover, Corey Lewandowski, and posting multiple vacation-ad-style videos about it, while strings swell in the background?

Caption: “My first time riding an Argentinian bred horse— her name is ‘Abundance’— she reaffirmed that no hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle!”

Ah, the horse’s breeding. “So you’re saying traits can be bred?” is a favorite just-asking-questions attempted gotcha from pro-eugenics types, who also fantasize about putting down undesirables in a gravel pit. On-brand for a lady whose official government account keeps Tweeting out literal white-supremacist propaganda.

But why is the nose job in charge of homeland security more than 4,000 miles away from the homeland she’s supposed to be securing? Officially, Noem was there to work on a plan to allow Argentine tourists and businessespeople to travel to the US for up to 90 days without a visa again, and to share more information between the US and Argentina about criminals, which sounds like it could have been an email and a Zoom call.

But there she was in person, lending some of her strip-mall glamor to Trumpish President Javier Milei, mutton-chopped darling of the conservative world, who has always generously lavished praise on Trump. And he’s a pal of Elon Musk, visiting him often and gifting him that pimped-out chainsaw he swanged around on stage at the Conservative Political Action Committee, probably while in a k-hole. Custom chainsaws are Milei’s bit, and he looks like he should be chasing a maid around a table with one while Yakety Sax is playing.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/kristi-noem-and-the-horseback-adultery