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Zorro

(17,942 posts)
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 09:30 AM Jul 31

Kristi Noem And The Horseback Adultery Death Camp Vacation

It’s the worst Nancy Drew mystery ever!

Why is Director of Homeland Security Kristi Noem riding horses through fields in Argentina with her rumored lover, Corey Lewandowski, and posting multiple vacation-ad-style videos about it, while strings swell in the background?

Caption: “My first time riding an Argentinian bred horse— her name is ‘Abundance’— she reaffirmed that no hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle!”

Ah, the horse’s breeding. “So you’re saying traits can be bred?” is a favorite just-asking-questions attempted gotcha from pro-eugenics types, who also fantasize about putting down undesirables in a gravel pit. On-brand for a lady whose official government account keeps Tweeting out literal white-supremacist propaganda.

But why is the nose job in charge of homeland security more than 4,000 miles away from the homeland she’s supposed to be securing? Officially, Noem was there to work on a plan to allow Argentine tourists and businessespeople to travel to the US for up to 90 days without a visa again, and to share more information between the US and Argentina about criminals, which sounds like it could have been an email and a Zoom call.

But there she was in person, lending some of her strip-mall glamor to Trumpish President Javier Milei, mutton-chopped darling of the conservative world, who has always generously lavished praise on Trump. And he’s a pal of Elon Musk, visiting him often and gifting him that pimped-out chainsaw he swanged around on stage at the Conservative Political Action Committee, probably while in a k-hole. Custom chainsaws are Milei’s bit, and he looks like he should be chasing a maid around a table with one while Yakety Sax is playing.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/kristi-noem-and-the-horseback-adultery
34 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Kristi Noem And The Horseback Adultery Death Camp Vacation (Original Post) Zorro Jul 31 OP
EXCELLENT commentary! Drum Jul 31 #1
I love the OP headline!! riversedge Jul 31 #5
Wonkette is wickedly funny! Prof. Toru Tanaka Jul 31 #33
I thought ghouls spooked horses johnnyfins Jul 31 #2
They went down there on a government plane. mahatmakanejeeves Jul 31 #3
"Horseback adultery" Haggard Celine Jul 31 #4
Sounds like it could be the title for a new Spinal Tap record. iscooterliberally Jul 31 #6
Chucklenut's favorite movie at military school. Kid Berwyn Jul 31 #30
She brought her own stud with here. Historic NY Jul 31 #7
Nice pun (stud) on words. Let me add my version to extend the pun. During my years in the military you hear phrases..... usaf-vet Jul 31 #14
More like the title for a porn novel. The horseback adulteress. Linda ladeewolf Jul 31 #8
She's riding it before she shoots it. live love laugh Jul 31 #9
I can't get over the lack of embarrassment of these people. To borrow from my kids, they're all so cringe. still-prayin4rain Jul 31 #10
To feel embarrassed, one must possess a degree of self awareness and sense of shame. bluesbassman Jul 31 #13
Well said, sir Mysterian Jul 31 #20
Agreed. bluesbassman Jul 31 #29
Cos-play Kristi and she is doing it on America's dime too Botany Jul 31 #11
Why would pro-eugenics types have plastic surgery? nuxvomica Jul 31 #12
Is it true? WE are paying for this (vacation)? young_at_heart Jul 31 #15
"Strip mall glamor" greatauntoftriplets Jul 31 #16
That was great snark Hekate Jul 31 #24
I'm evil. greatauntoftriplets Jul 31 #25
Evidently Kristi likes to spend a lot of time in the saddle. A lot of time! A lot of saddles! justhanginon Jul 31 #17
Our tax dollars NOT at work Wild blueberry Jul 31 #18
Doesn't she have a job to do or something? Initech Jul 31 #19
I am surprised the outfit du jour wasn't Lady Godiva sheshe2 Jul 31 #21
She's probably down there buying her 'escape ranch'. pfitz59 Jul 31 #22
Question AltairIV Jul 31 #23
Find any NAZI sympathizers to talk to Kristi? Ask for some tips on running a Reich? Bengus81 Jul 31 #26
I thought "Trump Tramps" was an apt description of LuckyLib Jul 31 #27
I'd rather see her entertaining a horse than doing her job. Ping Tung Jul 31 #28
Gross. All of it. The worst part is the power they wield. Lock them up asap for abuse of power. I can wait a bit. Evolve Dammit Jul 31 #31
WTF is she flying around the globe on our dime for? Emile Jul 31 #32
Hope she doesn't shoot the horse Blue Ozarks Aug 1 #34

johnnyfins

(2,982 posts)
2. I thought ghouls spooked horses
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 09:52 AM
Jul 31

Like I have said for awhile. Her comeuppence and downfall will be so satisfying to watch.

Kid Berwyn

(22,026 posts)
30. Chucklenut's favorite movie at military school.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 03:58 PM
Jul 31

No details needed. King Taco remembers every scene twice.

usaf-vet

(7,695 posts)
14. Nice pun (stud) on words. Let me add my version to extend the pun. During my years in the military you hear phrases.....
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:39 AM
Jul 31

..... that are not typically used in other lifetime settings.

Considering it is a "crass description," I think that fits for a person who would shoot the family dog for not behaving.

The phrase "spent in the saddle" can be and has been used as a euphemism or a crass description for having sex, particularly in years past." time spent in the saddle" can refer to either the literal act of riding a horse or a metaphorical description of engaging in sexual activity.
Especially the physicality and the "riding" aspect, has led to its metaphorical application to sexual intercourse.

still-prayin4rain

(508 posts)
10. I can't get over the lack of embarrassment of these people. To borrow from my kids, they're all so cringe.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:12 AM
Jul 31

bluesbassman

(20,325 posts)
13. To feel embarrassed, one must possess a degree of self awareness and sense of shame.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:24 AM
Jul 31

MAGAts like Noem possess neither. Along with no moral compass, no integrity, no honor, no empathy, no compassion. They are at best empty vessels, and at worst, like their vulgar figurehead, monsters.

Mysterian

(5,953 posts)
20. Well said, sir
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 12:11 PM
Jul 31

It's an utter shame that millions of humans can be sociopathic. We have not evolved much. We will likely destroy ourselves before we can.

bluesbassman

(20,325 posts)
29. Agreed.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 03:41 PM
Jul 31

What I can’t wrap my head around is the smug contempt many of them openly display. They act as though life is a zero sum game and the Felon’s reelection was a winner take all event. There is no ability to entertain compromise or thought of the common good; only the prizes they think they’ve won. There is no reasoning with such a mindset.

Botany

(75,392 posts)
11. Cos-play Kristi and she is doing it on America's dime too
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:14 AM
Jul 31

She is living out an 11th grade girl’s fantasy life.

nuxvomica

(13,657 posts)
12. Why would pro-eugenics types have plastic surgery?
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:16 AM
Jul 31

If their genes are superior, it would seem unnecessary to make changes.

young_at_heart

(3,973 posts)
15. Is it true? WE are paying for this (vacation)?
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:43 AM
Jul 31

It doesn't seem like this person is doing the job she's supposed to be doing??

greatauntoftriplets

(178,316 posts)
25. I'm evil.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 12:28 PM
Jul 31

Just realized that could be applied to someone I know in real life.

Excellent snark indeed.

justhanginon

(3,370 posts)
17. Evidently Kristi likes to spend a lot of time in the saddle. A lot of time! A lot of saddles!
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 11:56 AM
Jul 31

pfitz59

(11,910 posts)
22. She's probably down there buying her 'escape ranch'.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 12:24 PM
Jul 31

So she can run away from the ICC subpoena. When Dems regain Congress she'll have some answering to do. 'Crimes against humanity.'

Bengus81

(9,462 posts)
26. Find any NAZI sympathizers to talk to Kristi? Ask for some tips on running a Reich?
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 12:34 PM
Jul 31

That would give YOUR fuhrer a woodie..........

LuckyLib

(7,026 posts)
27. I thought "Trump Tramps" was an apt description of
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 12:56 PM
Jul 31

the administration’s women. “Strip mall glamour” comes in a close second. She’s grifting like the rest of the cabal!

Evolve Dammit

(21,254 posts)
31. Gross. All of it. The worst part is the power they wield. Lock them up asap for abuse of power. I can wait a bit.
Thu Jul 31, 2025, 06:55 PM
Jul 31
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