Sexual Assault Survivors Support

some of my exes beat me.

My dad also beat me, but not my brothers or sisters. I don't know why. He also sexually abused me, my older sister, and some of our family friends.

My dad used to brag about knowing how to hurt without leaving bruises. He would threaten to kill us all. He would take out his shotgun and threaten to kill us, my mom and us kids. He hit her in the head with a frying pan one time (so cliche, isn't it?) and we kids went to the neighbors. That was one of the many times the cops came out. They never did anything. I'm sure it was the neighbors who called. My mom was afraid he'd kill her if she did, so she never did anything.

My great grandfather molested my grandmother. My grandfather molested my mother and some of her sisters. One of my aunt's (mom's sister's) husbands molested my cousin. And of course my dad molested me and others, too.

Sexual abuse within families is so much more common than people think. And it often goes hand in hand with domestic violence.

I hate when people make jokes about incest. It isn't funny. There's nothing funny about it. When you see really dysfunctional families, and think about making jokes about how messed up they are, take a moment to consider that there very well might be a lot of shit going on with them that you don't know about. Painful shit. Shit that can fuck you up for life, and those who manage to survive often end up being labeled as broken or fucked up by people who don't realize how wrong that is, having their thoughts and feelings branded with a special label indicating that they aren't completely valid opinions or thoughts, because that person saying them is broken and fucked up.

It breaks my heart when people offer pat advice, like simply saying don't be a victim. What am I supposed to do? This is why so many of us try to kill ourselves. Most more than once. Some eventually succeed.

I wish people would not offer advice to just get over it or just move on until they have walked in that person's shoes. They assume they know, but they don't. Because most of us won't tell. The luckiest of us can't even remember.


Much of this stuff I've never said to anyone. I've told some to therapists and counselors, who are helpful in varying degrees. Saying it out loud, though, is so much harder.

Thanks for this place. I watched a documentary about abuse and molestation last night and it really messed me up. I needed to get some of this out. It really hurt to see a family so much like my own. It hurts to know how that feels, and know how many people go through this, most with little to no help.