Writing

The last 14 years & 8 months really were akin to a mental prison. Every week I plan to get back on the horse and have failed to in recent years especially.

I deleted most of my posts last week as every now and then I feel bullied into submission, i.e. that having to use the web to anonymously initiate complaints opens me up to harassment on my own street here in India. But that is nonsense.
And it is not my perception and a paranoid delusion etc. Can you just say the lamest tricks in the book?

The Streisand Effect etc are hyper-libertarian arguments used by internet companies and the worst institutions out there to draw a blatantly false analogy between the internet and the real world.

It is not a seamless continuum from the internet to the “real world” as people like that creep Andreessen or the monstrous people you find at places like Stanford would have you think of it. There are hard lines that separate the two which a disingenuous person would not find this hard to define. I am not normalizing anything I have seen since Sept 2011 (though it started a little earlier) just because most states have been as negligent as private sector companies, hospitals and educational institutions in my case, it doesn’t mean it will stay that way.

But I will start posting in this thread daily and keep my posts shorter and lay out important information as well as assert my right to be myself without being platitudinous and humorless to appease the types of people who engage in an even more insidious form of “she should not be wearing that if she doesn’t want to be assaulted.”

Iow that women who joke, make ribald remarks, swear etc in contexts that are in no honest sense an issue are themselves the problem not harassers and their enablers.

The problem is not what women wear or say around creeps. It is the creeps.
I have never policed people for controversial humor or swearing etc. But there is a line and it is crossing that to drive on my street or do fraudulent testing and snooping irl because someone posts anonymously on a website whose admins they trust.

But even without a pile of creepy social engineering (lie detectors, emotion ai) I have retained my humanity and understand human behavior in context better than dishonest people and their enablers.

This is a bad deal for young people, women and honest men. I have been angered at how much this has poisoned my formerly normal, unaffected behaviors around both men and women.

When you know very little about someone it is one thing. I have been posting here for years. When I first came back to DU I was - I don’t like the word traumatized even when it is not entirely inapplicable - more feral. There.

Language is important and very personal. I like animals (sometimes more than I like humans) so I don’t mind being compared to a cat or a plant or even a cartoon character. I don’t like being likened to a child or a teen or someone with mental issues that were not directly the result of shitty systems. Nor obviously to a bot.

Obviously I am not a potted plant. If I was and posting online that would be kinda cool actually.

I have been fighting above all this sense of anonymity (distinct from choosing to stay anonymous) that comes from feeling like this bulk processed, homogenized, blandly vapid or spectacularly lunatic brand of awful human.

I am a bit suspicious of what I at least see as PMC class language that I am not even sure is anything but liability consciousness.

While I am well to the left, I find it hard to join groups. It has made the last 14.66 years very hard. When I was reading about E Jeanne and more recently the 13 yo “boy-girl” who bit Trump’s penis when he tried to force her, I felt a pang of recognition. I felt the same way when I read about Sam Kuffel.

I grew up around my dad who is one of the most decent men I have ever met. But around my mom he swears a lot and even makes bawdy jokes. Which I as a child found very intriguing being a generally horrible child. My parents made a few attempts to instill some decorum in me, but gave up finding it altogether too uphill.

We were a happy, healthy family for all that maybe we would be seen as eccentric by someone nosy from a very insular and conventional family who wants to police people while being snoopy, creepy and mercenarily normalizing Google’s disgusting practices.

It wasn’t this sickeningly cultish, super creepy and invasive culture I got exposed to starting from Sept 2011 in California.

Imagine a collection of peeping toms and street harassers laying down the law re what is mentally healthy or acceptable. No one was calling it out and so now I have to as it is too much of a drag to endure.

This was such bullshit. I am filing all applicable complaints and I will be outspoken about it the way I would be.