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no_hypocrisy

(52,832 posts)
1. Something similar in my family.
Thu Feb 7, 2019, 07:15 PM
Feb 2019

My siblings and I were brought up to be observant Jews, not really religious.

Our brother converted to Sufiism, a mystical sect of Islam about 20 years ago. His Sheik introduced him to another member, a woman, and suggested that they marry. (Yeah, I know, an Arab Sun Yung Moon)

Our brother told me about his conversion and his meeting this woman. They got engaged less than a year after they met. They told our parents about the engagement, but not about his conversion.

About a week before the wedding, Brad told our parents about the Islam conversion, and all hell broke loose. Our father had a meltdown of epic proportions. Mom was not happy because she was an atheist. If he could have stopped the wedding, our father would have.

The night before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, Dad tried a different strategy: to persuade me and our sister to turn against our brother. Disclaim him. Denounce him. Boycott the wedding.

My sister was afraid of our father. While she didn't do exactly what Dad wanted, she tried to ruin our brother's day by telling him that she had a cancerous growth in her breast, right after the ceremony. At the ceremony, I sat -- alone -- in the front row while the rest of the family sat in the very last row. Later, Dad tried to order me to leave the reception, to drive him home so he could buy discount airline tickets online. I refused, but my sister did it.

And to some extent, Dad's efforts paid off as our brother looked miserable on his wedding day.

Dad kept comparing our brother/his son to HAMAS, that he would return to shoot our father for being Jewish. Ridiculous shit like that.

I caught holy hell for defending our brother because it was simultaneously defying our father.

Epilogue: While our mother made peace within months and getting to know the new member to our family, Dad dragged his feet. Our brother no longer stayed in our family home when he visited and opted for a motel thereafter. While Dad never fully approved of our brother converting and marrying another Muslim, he at least learned to tolerate the situation. When Dad died four years ago, he disinherited all of us.

The End.

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