Need some emotional backup... I think I just cut my youngest son loose for good... (long, sorry) [View all]

So, those of you who know me here have seen the drama/trauma i have dealt with this kid since middle school. Since he's been an "adult" I have bailed him out and bought at least 2 cars, paid for a lawyer ...and most recently, brought him and his GF (and her baby, 2yoF) back out here from Kansas.
Christmas was ok, but they stayed with me for about 2 months while we looked for apartments etc. It was not fun. He's got a lot of our family anger issues, stuff I am sorry that I passed on from my dad... But he needs some serious therapy, probably has BPD and is definitely a big narcissist, so he's never wrong and will never need therapy in his mind.
So I basically drained what was left of my savings to help them get a car and into an apartment. She got a job and he failed to step up. Everytime they hit me up for gas money I reminded them I was now in dire straits too and couldn't help. Hearing from them got more sparse...he flaked on helping me with the house and yard (big promises made when $$ was given) Well, the inevitable finally happened and they got evicted the beginning of July.

I made sure during week they had to scramble before eviction - That I loved them but could NOT welcome them back into my home. That all I can do is offer support.
Well, then they both went radio silence.

It's been three weeks and nothing, I'd been trying to give them space to work it out and not make things worse by asking too many questions. *Even my one outreach to see how they were was ignored.

So I'm talking to my other kid (the one in NC) about some family health stuff and they say I should tell Devin because he definitely has symptoms...I said he's homeless, probably not seeing a Dr anytime soon.. but I tried to go ahead in that moment and text his number.
Message came back BLOCKED.
It was like a punch to the gut.

Really?.... REALLY!?!
So if I can't give you something, I am of no use to you?
wow.

So I sat with it through the evening and the next morning, I decided to go ahead and cut the cords.
I sent him a last message on the social platform we usually talk on (If his phone number is cut because he didn't pay it, that's our wifi backup to contact eachother...) just "I see you blocked me, sorry you made that choice."

and then I deleted (not blocked) his contact info. They still have my number, if they are in Reno and they are truly desperate, they know where I live. And I didn't say NOT to contact me in any way!)

So about 24 hours later, I get a text from the GF asking what's going on? she sent me screenshots of my last message to Devin, (where he replied "I'm a grown ass adult and I'm busy...but you blocked me though." )
I simply said that I tried to message and it came back blocked, so I was done. Felt that they only needed me when they could GET something.

no anger, no rant, just done.

That was the last I heard from either of them three days ago. He never said anything directly, just had her do it.

My whole lesson that meant something to ME was that I am done giving my EVERYTHING to people who just see it as a transactional relationship.
Even family.
The people in my life I have given the most to, have been the ones to turn their back on me and hurt me the most.
No More.

I am living my life for MY benefit. I gotta rebuild something to retire on and I'm not gonna get there giving everything to others in order to win love and approval.

So I just needed to rant and tell you all my process and get some hugs and backup for choosing to NOT allow abusive and draining people in my life.