I won't make matters worse with a rant on health care.
Even when you're pissed off - especially when you're pissed off - you have to approach medical people calmly. I know this is a broad generalization, but they tend to clam up and get defensive in the face of a pissed off patient. Which is not to say you shouldn't talk. If you have to, go in with a list of questions. Ask them. And question everything you need to. If this, why that? If that, why not this? What will this medication do? Are there any interactions with other medication. Ask all the "what if" questions you need to. Don't refer to advice you've read on the internet.
I've been lucky with my ophthalmologist. You know he would like to speed along the appointment - after all, there are lots of people in the waiting room - but he will take the time to answer questions. What about this or that? Should I be concerned about this or that? And he isn't condescending.
I've written elsewhere about how my local medical facility is losing doctors and going to nurses for primary care. This doesn't apply in your situation, but I have found that the nurses happily spend more time and make sure you have every question answered. Maybe the eye doctor's nurses will play the same role on the specialty side of things.
Trust is crucial. If you don't trust a doctor, find another one. This may not be easy. But if it's the Cleveland Clinic or another eye doctor in your town, do it. Talk to your insurance company. I hate insurance companies, by my interactions with mine - Anthem - have been pretty good. They clear up questions about in network/out of network, what's covered, etc., plus their website, and I'm sure other insurance companies, have a find a doctor service.
I'm sure it's seriously anxiety-inducing, but if you begin to take more control over the process - or at least feel as if you are - then you're halfway there.
Good luck.
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