I've just killed my wife […] bit different for you tonight I expect. Happy New Year.”

These were the words of former Ukip-councillor Stephen Searle during a 999 call. Searle, 64, was this week found guilty of killing his wife, Anne. She was 62 years old.

He then quipped: “Bit of a bizarre situation but you know, never mind.”
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During the call, Searle went on to reassure the phone operative that it was safe for officers to enter his house, as “I’m not violent.”

His statement reflects a dangerous and persistent idea that violence, when committed against an intimate partner, isn’t as severe or dangerous as violence committed against a stranger.

This reflects a historic dismissal of domestic violence as being “just a domestic”. It’s seen as an isolated incident, and the perpetrator is not regarded as a danger to the wider public.
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Whether it’s the rapist lured by short skirts or a killer’s “nagging wife”, all too often we place the blame on the victim and seek to excuse the perpetrator. In those excuses, we become complicit in minimising the hurt, pain and violence they have committed.