How Boys Suffer: The Boy Code and Toxic Masculinity [View all]

Here's why the documentary 'The Mask You Live In' is critical for parents, tweens and teens

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Feelings guide us. They steer us to seek help and consultation. They motivate problem-solving and informed decision-making. And most importantly, they drive connection with others.

What happens to this pent-up frustration when boys inevitably come up short in the manhood-code department? It can lead to depression, conduct disorders, isolation, problematic relationships and even violence.

Problems abound with toxic masculinity just as they do with the gender-typed pressures on girls. Girls are supposed to be pretty, skinny, perfect, accommodating, and never aggressive or angry. Gender straightjackets on both males and females can strangle, and try a gender identity that isn’t binary and you’re really in a bind.

What are the solutions? Busting out of those gendered straightjackets is a start. We need to validate boys’ feelings when they experience negative emotions. We need to trust that if we show compassion for boys’ tender sides, it won’t make them fragile; it will enhance self-acceptance.

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