Men's Group

Adrahil

(13,340 posts)

17. Historically, the reason the groom asked the father...

Reply to ProudToBeBlueInRhody (Reply #14)

Fri Jan 30, 2015, 07:54 AM

Jan 2015

.... Is because the daughter was essentially his property... By custom if not by law.

The continuation of that custom is deplorable to me, though most men who do it say it's about showing respect to the bride's family.

But respect for what? What if they say no? If they say no and you do it anyway, then it's just a continued expression of support for ancient patriarchy, but a hollow one.

Screw that. I didn't ask. The answer I was interested in was the one my wife-to-be gave, and if my daughter's future husband does that, he is going to get an earful.

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My best friend got engaged on Sunday... and... uhh... guys still do that? [View all] Sen. Walter Sobchak Oct 2014 OP

I wasn't given the chance... Veilex Oct 2014 #1

Both of my sons-in-law had talked to us before TexasMommaWithAHat Oct 2014 #7

Nah. Inkfreak Oct 2014 #2

I thought most men sat down with both parents now ProudToBeBlueInRhody Oct 2014 #3

Where's the woman in that scenario? Iris Oct 2014 #11

I don't understand ProudToBeBlueInRhody Oct 2014 #12

yes. Where's the bride? Iris Oct 2014 #13

She hasn't been proposed to yet by the man, it's supposed to be a surprise ProudToBeBlueInRhody Oct 2014 #14

No - the tradition was the groom asked the father for permission Iris Oct 2014 #15

Historically, the reason the groom asked the father... Adrahil Jan 2015 #17

I didn't, for a few reasons fishwax Oct 2014 #4

i would have and wanted to but my wife and i dated for about 9 years so at that belzabubba333 Oct 2014 #5

I think most couples these days announce Jenoch Oct 2014 #6

They're both in their early 40's and never married Sen. Walter Sobchak Oct 2014 #8

It seems strange at that age. Jenoch Oct 2014 #9

Uhh... No Sen. Walter Sobchak Oct 2014 #10

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Nov 2014 #16