Men's Group

bettyellen

(47,209 posts)

28. Yeah, both women and men can be shit heads. Women get ridiculed for being unattractive or heavy all

Thu Mar 6, 2014, 01:03 PM

Mar 2014

the time- sometimes loudly- before they even try and talk to anyone. I live in a town that has a lot of Wall Street assholes. Many haven't outgrown their fraternity/ sorority days, and snotty comments abound.
I learned a while ago that the world is nicer to you when you look better. When my Dad was very sick, and I was getting 3-4 hours of sleep a day from going from work to the hospital to bed non-stop, as soon as I looked rough from it, or my hair was a mess, many people were ruder or just avoided me. I really felt like a wounded animal that the herd was trying to separate from. It made things pretty unpleasant for a while.
When I began to look for a job in the middle of all that, I knew I had to really get it together and fake it enough to present well or I was screwed. The minute I gave my hair an extra twenty minutes and was more thoughtful choosing my clothes, the world was so much nicer to me. Everyone I interacted with magically was so much more pleasant, and it helped me get through some rough days even while I knew it was unfair. It was a strange lesson to learn, because it shouldn't matter, and we should be kinder to people when they have it rough. But the world will kick your ass when you are down. Boy, will it ever.

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Men need... (add your own). [View all] Bonobo Mar 2014 OP

Men need to separate themselves from the idea that they are little "society units" sibelian Mar 2014 #1

Creepy is about ignoring other people's boundaries, and imposing yourself on a disinteretsed party bettyellen Mar 2014 #2

That behavior is anti-social and if you want to call it "creepy", I have no problem with that. Bonobo Mar 2014 #6

I just wanted to clear up what is the most common usage of creepy.... Creeper encompasses that but bettyellen Mar 2014 #10

Thank you for taking your time to explain, Betty. Bonobo Mar 2014 #12

You are welcome. I think when you are young, you can be a lot more insensitive. I have never found bettyellen Mar 2014 #17

Still, if you're worried about contemporary attitudes being unduly influenced by John Hughes movies Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #19

well, John Hughes just stood out because I can imagine teenagers being dumb enough to pick up "tips" bettyellen Mar 2014 #20

I had a witty retort all ready, and then I realized that, yes, actually Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #22

as long as you leave the boombox at home. bettyellen Mar 2014 #23

Different movie. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #24

he's the guy with the boombox in every film, even Tin Whatchamacallits. bettyellen Mar 2014 #25

That's the right attitude, but not everyone shares it Major Nikon Mar 2014 #26

Yeah, both women and men can be shit heads. Women get ridiculed for being unattractive or heavy all bettyellen Mar 2014 #28

Men should be able to express themselves without being called "weak*." Behind the Aegis Mar 2014 #3

Clingy, I find, is applied to women ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #4

Yes, that's what I am talking about. Bonobo Mar 2014 #7

I've only really seen that with really young women who don't know better how to handle themselves bettyellen Mar 2014 #11

'creepy' is nothing like 'slutty' geek tragedy Mar 2014 #5

Just because you haven't experienced them... Bonobo Mar 2014 #8

i was providing my own personal reaction, I have not witnessed them geek tragedy Mar 2014 #9

Yes, but the dismissive "meh" sort of proved my point. Bonobo Mar 2014 #13

no, I am saying my feeling as a man was 'meh' geek tragedy Mar 2014 #14

OK, I have no problem agreeing with all that, but Bonobo Mar 2014 #15

feminists would also agree that both men and women support it geek tragedy Mar 2014 #16

It's the best term we have, and we need you to accept it. We know that it is both a blessing and a bettyellen Mar 2014 #18

Co-dependent culture. westerebus Mar 2014 #27

It never was all that much of a blessing and is even less so now Major Nikon Mar 2014 #30

... to speak for themselves. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2014 #21

Or at the very least stop being criticized for doing so Major Nikon Mar 2014 #31

^^^ This. Eleanors38 Mar 2014 #33

They don't already? YoungDemCA Mar 2014 #38

Men need understanding. In_The_Wind Mar 2014 #29

My problem: "Men need to be given..." When any group Eleanors38 Mar 2014 #32

You're right. I could have worded it better. nt Bonobo Mar 2014 #34

It's a good question, and I guess my immediate reaction after looking at the list that comes to mind Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #35

Warren DeMontague In_The_Wind Mar 2014 #36

How about this. ElboRuum Mar 2014 #37

Men need to stop feeling sorry for themselves when their unearned social advantage is criticized YoungDemCA Mar 2014 #39

You can also swap the gender roles for all of your statements Major Nikon Mar 2014 #40

False equivalency YoungDemCA Mar 2014 #41

Only if you believe men are to blame for all of women's problems Major Nikon Mar 2014 #42