Men's Group

You make an important statement in saying too many parents are trying to be their kids "friend." Discipline is something sorely lacking today. People go from one extreme (beating a child) to the other (doing nothing at all, or very little). We end up with a bunch of narcissistic, self-entitled, pompous, little shit-heads. My nephew is a prime example. He is a fussy eater, so much so, he will only eat pizza, chicken nuggets, and hamburgers. My brother and his wife allow it. This past Thanksgiving we ordered pizza with hamburger on it. He refused to eat it because it had hamburger on it! My brother scolded him about being so picky, then promptly pulled all the hamburger meat off.

As for looking good, there is a fine line between building self-esteem and creating a monster. Children, as well as adults, get too many messages about how we should look, and if we don't, then something is wrong with us or we won't attract the right type of mate. For me, I can be quite vain. It has hurt me. I destroyed a good portion of my enamel on my teeth from years of bulimia. It has also caused GERD. Now, I have been putting on extra pounds and I refuse to look in a mirror, I won't leave the house without my head covered (thinning hair), and I wear clothes that make it next to impossible to tell if I am fat or not. This wasn't anything my parents did, it was something I did to myself, but if parents reinforce it, it really can makes things much worse.

Sometimes, it is OK just to be "normal" or "average," whatever that may be. Like you, I agree there are choices parents (and other adults) should be making in order to build up their child in a positive, but realistic way.