The DU Lounge

Not quite the same as your situation. But, after we all say hello, and I offer to help, and the polite refusals, I play with the pets. I see my daughter and her family at least weekly, usually at their home. I'm usually caught up on their news, but I try to remember to ask each person about something they mentioned on a previous visit. Pretty much toss them the conversational ball.

I don't feel a group situation is a good time to have deep conversation, unless it is good news that will lift the vibe. I don't follow sports, but I ask about favorite teams-around this time of year, it makes for some back and forth. Small talk is always good. Talking about weather, mentioning new boots or other clothes is a good way to engage. I keep it light, even if the subjects are not my first choice. My daughter is in a reading group, and while I might ask what they're reading, I wait for a lunch date to hear more about the book and their opinions about it.

I'm happy I was invited, that I have a tasty meal with people I like. I'm going home to an empty house. For that, I try to have some kind of project or activity to look forward to. I'm usually home before dark, with a plate of leftovers.

If you talk to a mental health professional, I hope it helps. Each of us, especially if we're older, have preferences and maybe a family dinner isn't top of the list, not what what the reason.