Hey! I impressed myself today! [View all]

I'm a very zen driver. I go with the flow, I don't get upset. I'm very aware and make cat-like defensive moves. Nice and smooth.

Enter Prednisone.

Much to my wife's objections, I said I was going out today to run errands. I had three places to go.

YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THE WAY YOUR BACK IS!

Yes I am. I'll be back in a few hours.

Limped to the car with my fucking donut pillow to sit on, to ease the back pain.

Took me 10 minutes to get my left leg into the car after I sat down.

Sitting on the donut pillow like I'm in a goddamn high chair.

Screaming and moaning.

Again, enter Prednisone.

That shit turns me into a wild man. It's no good.

Motherfuckers driving 15 MPH in a 30 MPH.

One thing Prednisone does to me is make me bounce on the balls of my feet when I'm sitting. So I'm on my donut pillow with my bouncing legs, screaming in pain, and my hands are twitching.

And people are cutting me off left and right, the traffic was brutal.

Some guy stops dead in the road in front of me.

MOTHERFUCKER!

(don't hit the horn like an asshole, don't do it)

Some lady pulls out in front of me. I slam on the brakes and scream because it wrenched my back.

FUUUUUUUUUU....

(don't hit the fucking horn, don't do it, remember, you're "cat-like" )

Well, I didn't hit the horn or flip anyone off.

I'm so proud of myself.