the way you tell the story and everything!
You got it all wrong, Tommy!
Whoa, whoa Anthony!
He's a big boy, he knows what he said! 
Story about that chair arm:
That's wet treated lumber. I unfortunately don't own a band saw, and my jig saw would not cut that wood. It was having none of that! Also, my router was out of commission.
So I did that whole thing with hand saws to get it close, and then shaped it with the electric sander and some 60 grit sandpaper. My buddy and his wife were at a wedding the day I went over to his house to install the new arm. I knew his 20 something daughter was home when I was banging on the door, but she would not answer the door to let me in because I had not seen her in several years and she didn't recognize me.
So, I climbed over a fence with my tool bags to get into his backyard to install the arm. It took me about 2 hours to do that, because the rest of the chair was messed up, so I repaired it while I was there. He had about THIRTY talking gnomes in his backyard, and they were motion sensitive, so every time I moved, they would talk to me.
"Hey, what are you doing there"?
"Hey you, get out of here".
Imagine listening to that for two hours! So I was laughing my ass off and started talking back to the gnomes.
Pics below. Unfortunately, I didn't get a pic of the gnomes!
I hope you are having a lovely day! 
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