The DU Lounge

The Amazon reviews on this are internet legend

https://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-3571-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII
No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!
Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2011
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed.