The DU Lounge

— especially at 4 a.m.

Over the years I’ve tried to focus on gratitude for my many instances of good luck (including narrowly avoiding certain death at least four times that I can remember).

I am also grateful for all the times I dodged the temptation to do something wrong, stupid, or destructive and instead practiced restraint.

I don’t mean to hijack your thread, and I hope this response doesn’t come across as sanctimonious, but this is the way I see it.

Even the things I strongly regret missing out on could well have been disasters if I’d gotten what I wanted at the time. Not getting the girl(s) of my dreams to fall for me? Failing to pursue the hot job or go to the right school? Not traveling here or there, not learning this or that language? Sure.

But I think I agree with the writer George Saunders, who said his greatest regrets are about times he failed to be as kind as he could have been. This blog post by James Clear includes a transcript of his remarkable 2013 Syracuse University commencement speech elaborating on this thought:
https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches/failures-of-kindness-by-george-saunders