The DU Lounge

...my mother-in-law on maintenance doses of narcotics for all of the 30 years I knew him.

I actually am OK with it. She was one of the last Americans to have had polio and suffered immense pain from post-polio syndrome. Since most polio survivors are gone, assuming that asshole RFK doesn't bring polio back, many medical professionals are not acquainted with the syndrome.

My mother-in-law was a drug addict of course, but sometimes being a drug addict is justified. I believe it was in this case. She also suffered from osteoporosis, weak musculature and other problems, some of which were psychological.

Of course, all of this caused my wife an interesting upbringing, to say the least. My wife left home at 17 and was, as a result, an extremely mature woman at 22 when I married her, beyond her years, but probably because she really was deprived of solid parenting and had to raise herself.

It was dicey between us, my in-laws and us, but we managed our relationship eventually, to the extent that when they passed, I missed them both deeply and wept many times for them.

As the years pass, we are prone to understand them better and be more forgiving of who and what they were. It is probably the case that my mother-in-law was lucky to marry a doctor, although their marriage was a mess, mostly based I think on the fact that they were good looking when young, but otherwise they were incompatible.

I often muse to my wife that I don't know how she came out of that family, but I'm glad she did, as I love my wife very much.

My point, if I have one, is that pain, psychological and physical, sometimes both intertwined, needs management and finding the balance is difficult if not impossible.