Open letter to Donald J. Trump [View all]

With tears in my eyes, Sir, I implore you to consider your great reputation for strength and power in the world. Surely this reputation must be upheld at all costs.

Therefore, I humbly suggest that the US should send its bravest, fiercest fighters for boots on the ground battles in the excursion war against Iran. I have read that the Marines are likely to be sent.

But there is a fiercer, much stronger, braver, group of already battle hardened troops that could do the job. They never back down, never give in, never hesitate to shoot the enemy regardless of age, gender, or physical condition. Therefore, Sir, may I humbly suggest that you order our elite fighting forces of DHS' own ICE division to Iran. They would attack the enemy mercilessly and ruthlessly, without a shred of woke thought or feeling.

Americans across the country would praise you bigly for sending our fiercest battle-seasoned fighting men to the front. They have already proven their hatred for foreigners on the home front so they should be very effective abroad. .

Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sir.