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soldierant

(8,965 posts)

24. From Andy Borowitz

Reply to generalbetrayus (Original post)

Sat Sep 27, 2025, 11:07 PM

Saturday

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/federal-troops-arrive-in-portland

Federal Troops Arrive in Portland and Immediately Form Bands

PORTLAND (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s latest use of the military against US citizens backfired spectacularly on Saturday after Federal troops arrived in Portland, Oregon and immediately formed indie bands.

Across the city, personnel who were until recently members of the military were seen at pawn shops, trading in their automatic weapons for mandolins and zithers.

Within minutes, Portland’s bulletin boards became plastered with flyers for such newly-minted bands as The Kristi Nomads and Hegadeth.

As the city’s sidewalks transformed into an obstacle course of harmonica-blowing buskers, one longtime Portland resident commented, “We didn’t need Federal troops, but we really didn’t need more bands.”

(There are a couple of good pictures also)

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Highlight:

This was posted by a friend of a friend of mine on Facebook. Stand strong Portland! [View all] generalbetrayus Saturday OP

? Portland sounds great! txwhitedove Saturday #1

it must be Conjuay Saturday #19

Lived in Portland (Oregon) for a year. Job working. chouchou Saturday #2

There's a trip down memory lane.. Permanut Saturday #9

Ahh Thanks..brought it back to me. chouchou Saturday #10

We saw her open for Don Rickles Unwind Your Mind 22 hrs ago #26

This is brilliant! More please! Hekate Saturday #3

Love it!!! PatSeg Saturday #4

from behind the lines to the west of Portland OldSWODog Saturday #5

Camp Granada (Allen Sherman) without the rain stopping. rubbersole Saturday #6

Hello Muddah, hello Faddah... GiqueCee Saturday #8

Good parody of Ken Burns' The Civil War. sop Saturday #7

Maybe Jimmy Kimmel can read it in the manner of Ken Burns Hekate Saturday #13

Stephen Colbert's show does it on a regular basis. Wednesdays Saturday #15

Wonderful. I'd forgotten -- Kimmel's name only came up because he just got back. Hekate Saturday #16

These Ken Burns' Civil War letters to mother have become a meme in the NFL. sop Saturday #18

Yes! The Sullivan Ballou letter! FailureToCommunicate Saturday #17

Just sent this on to a select few friends -- thank you so much Hekate Saturday #11

A friend from Portland wrote to me: No "war" going on here. Just a handful of peaceful protesters. he is trying to cause appleannie1 Saturday #12

Exactly. Mockery and satire first -- banana slug catapults next Hekate Saturday #14

They can defeat tRump's goons with simple weirdness Blue Owl Saturday #20

Well done! liberalla Saturday #21

I could just hear this in the background as I read it: Tanuki Saturday #22

Although written in 1982, this piece so perfectly fit the Ken Burns' series. 3catwoman3 Yesterday #25

Love this. llmart Saturday #23

From Andy Borowitz soldierant Saturday #24