General Discussion

hunter

(39,980 posts)

93. There is a lot of social pressure in many communities for a woman to change her name.

Reply to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #59)

Tue Sep 23, 2025, 05:20 PM

Sep 23

My wife resisted these pressures and there have been many complications from that, at first in the Catholic community we were married in and most recently with our health insurance where some random clerk assumed my surname was the same as my wife's and created a huge mess to untangle, our taxes included.

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I just want to add a comment to those thinking the voting marital name change issue is not a problem [View all] hlthe2b Sep 23 OP

Kick SheltieLover Sep 23 #1

It is a BIG DEAL! EarthAbides Sep 23 #2

I still have the name I was born with Grim Chieftain Sep 23 #19

for the short time I was married in the 1980s, barbtries Sep 23 #102

So do I! calimary Wednesday #138

Great story Grim Chieftain Wednesday #139

Hugs back atcha, Grim Chieftain! calimary Wednesday #167

And it's a BIGGER deal than a birth certificate. pnwmom Sep 23 #94

I have been married twice oberle Sep 23 #137

At least till Congress requires it is the bottom line. And if it takes months to gather your documents, pnwmom Wednesday #141

Which is the point. pandr32 Wednesday #159

Slightly off-topic but those documents can also VTderry Wednesday #150

My maga sister is one of those who stupidly says it is no big deal. Not to her, she is rich. Trueblue1968 Sep 23 #3

It costs money and takes time, too. MineralMan Sep 23 #4

Every obstacle to make it harder to vote ... now who would that benefit ... I wonder who .... Could it be .... eppur_se_muova Sep 23 #5

Same thing, different name. soldierant Sep 23 #88

Thank you. Solly Mack Sep 23 #6

applegrove's post was about needing to get a marriage certificate... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #7

She also discussed the voting issue. Are you claiming I am lying? You need the birth certificate hlthe2b Sep 23 #8

No, I'm not claiming that you're lying... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #11

Women have to have both! EarthAbides Sep 23 #22

Yes, for some things they do SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #24

It is definitely a tax on women. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #29

Where are women required to have a birth certificate to vote? SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #31

I just can't anymore. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #40

Not sure why... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #47

That's the subject of this thread. What have you been reading? Scrivener7 Sep 23 #51

And yet... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #52

Because you couldn't possibly google or keep up: House GOP tramples on women's rights with passage of SAVE Act hlthe2b Sep 23 #53

I'm well aware of the SAVE Act... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #55

And you think those affected will have the time to react if it is signed/enacted? hlthe2b Sep 23 #57

Which seven Democratic Senators ... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #61

They are clearly delaying to the last minute to ensure women have no chance to respond... hlthe2b Sep 23 #64

I do care about women being disenfranchised... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #70

MEN do not change their name to their wife's. IT IS about women. Good gawd. hlthe2b Sep 23 #75

Under the SAVE Act... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #84

How many House Democrats did you think were going to vote to honor Charlie Kirk? Scrivener7 Sep 23 #73

Did you believe that Roe vs Wade could never be overturned? Or the Voting Rights Act be gutted? The GOP ... Hekate Wednesday #163

NO. It absolutely does NOT. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #69

Sorry, what "absolutely does NOT"? SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #72

You really just need to go read it. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #74

I actually did... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #89

Because it hasn't passed the Senate yet. They are likely waiting till close to Scrivener7 Sep 23 #54

Exactly. They want to pass/enact it at last minute to prevent women from having the chance hlthe2b Sep 23 #60

I seriously can't deal with this anymore. We are actually needing to defend the idea that this is not a good thing. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #67

One might wonder why they are on DU... hlthe2b Sep 23 #99

I'm absolutely sure what you're talking about... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #108

And you missed the fact that, in practice, many women will need to provide both. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #121

You seem to miss the point of what the birth certificate requirement is for SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #126

Have a lovely evening. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #127

It will not pass Wiz Imp Sep 23 #82

Hope not. But I didn't think House Democrats would vote to honor Kirk. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #85

I'm not trying to downplay it but the majority of women would not be impacted immediately. Wiz Imp Sep 23 #110

How many women moved, changed their name or changed party registration last year? Scrivener7 Sep 23 #114

Somebody needs to look up the word downplay and perhaps rewrite their title. Ilikepurple Sep 23 #129

You're sure Republicans won't get rid of the filibuster to assure they stay in power? SunSeeker Sep 23 #90

Yes. I'm sure Republicans will not get rid of the filibuster just for this. Wiz Imp Sep 23 #106

No. You're not sure. You're no more sure of that than people were sure Roe v. Wade would hold. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #115

Yes I am sure. I'd stake my life savings on it. It WILL NOT HAPPEN Wiz Imp Sep 23 #122

OK. So you've informed us bout your infallibility, and about the fact that you are OK with Democratic citizens Scrivener7 Sep 23 #123

Amazing. You misrepresented every single thing I said. Wiz Imp Sep 23 #128

I, too, suspect it will not pass crimycarny Wednesday #161

Thank you for understanding the point. Wiz Imp Wednesday #164

Yeah--was thinking the same in regards to Conservative women being more likely to be affected crimycarny Thursday #174

Not required in Kansas............ Bengus81 Sep 23 #76

YET. This is about the Federal SAVE ACT. Google or head upstream. hlthe2b Sep 23 #100

SAVE act requires a birth certificate to vote if you legally changed your name... haele Sep 23 #98

It's A Tax RobinA Sep 23 #105

Regarding marriage certificates... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #109

I've read your post four times and I still can't make sense of it. yardwork Wednesday #145

I apologize if what I said wasn't clear SickOfTheOnePct Wednesday #153

Its a tax on women if women need a birth certificate to vote MadameButterfly Wednesday #147

I agree 100% SickOfTheOnePct Wednesday #154

OK, so there's an even worse law MadameButterfly Wednesday #170

I've been amazed at the Democratic/left pooh-poohing on this issue since the early push for RealID for voting Ms. Toad Sep 23 #9

Boy, that's some serious poll taxing. ananda Sep 23 #10

I'm not aware of any states that require a birth certificate to vote SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #14

Have you missed the weeks of discussion of the RW attempts to do so? hlthe2b Sep 23 #17

I'm aware that a number of Republican states are trying... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #18

Perhaps you could Google the question. mgardener Sep 23 #62

It's up to the people making the claims... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #63

This requirement for women to prove their maiden name is exactly that. It requires a birth certificate to vote. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #30

What requirement for women to prove their maiden name in order to vote? n/t SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #32

I'll bet 50-75% of men don't have a clue where their BC is. I had to buy one years ago Bengus81 Sep 23 #79

+1 leftstreet Sep 23 #15

So glad I never changed my name. Coventina Sep 23 #12

The old style birth certificates that I got in the early 'seventies from the county courthouse... hunter Sep 23 #13

Yeah... I still have that one, but it was refused. Irritating as hell. hlthe2b Sep 23 #21

A few years ago I had to get birth certificates for different relatives across 3 different states ClaudetteCC Sep 23 #28

It is definitely a misogynist move. Most of us do change our names at marriage... Hekate Sep 23 #16

I changed my legal name to my maiden and married name when I got married kimbutgar Sep 23 #20

Isn't it standard practice to already have copies of one's birth certificate on hand? Kaleva Sep 23 #23

Kindly reread my OP and that of Hunter (#13). Certainly not the RW MAGA to blame for hlthe2b Sep 23 #26

Gosh. I had to replace my birth certificate because my mother lost mine. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #33

LOL...I've been voting in Kansas since 1972 and a BC has never been required. Bengus81 Sep 23 #80

But shouldn't everyone, men and women, have copies of their birth certificate? Kaleva Sep 23 #34

Real ID has a number of options. You can do it without a birth certificates. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #35

True but since I had my birth certificate, I used that Kaleva Sep 23 #37

That's nice. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #43

Only if your current driver's license was obtained with documents proving your full legal name Ms. Toad Sep 23 #91

Based on everything I've read, you need a proof of identity to get a Real ID Wiz Imp Sep 23 #97

Blame women....Blame poor women. especially after I detailed the $76 it cost me to replace mine hlthe2b Sep 23 #41

We have a full set of vital docs... SickOfTheOnePct Sep 23 #42

You know they're not free, right? leftstreet Sep 23 #48

More Highly ENTITLED... hlthe2b Sep 23 #50

Good for you! yardwork Wednesday #149

If Someone Says It's No Big Deal modrepub Sep 23 #25

just went through this - dont forget the notary fee for the document Vitalchek needs +$20 TalenaGor Sep 23 #27

You don't need vitalcheck if you go in person or use mail Kaleva Sep 23 #39

For gawd's sakes. What percentage of this nations' women live in the state of their birth hlthe2b Sep 23 #49

I don't believe women are as helpless as you seem to think they are Kaleva Wednesday #157

If they don't know, they aren't financially secure, trapped in a horrible controlling or violent marriage hlthe2b Wednesday #158

What does anything in that post have to do with helplessness? Scrivener7 Wednesday #168

gotcha - I live in a differnt state now so I didnt have much of a choice lol TalenaGor Sep 23 #96

Some people have different situations than you. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #120

It's a BIG DEAL proud patriot Sep 23 #36

But the Stepford MAGAs will be ok with it IbogaProject Sep 23 #38

Hell. It appears some here are just fine with it. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #45

They will fail. Fiendish Thingy Sep 23 #44

"Roe v. Wade will never fall." "No Democratic House member would ever vote to honor Kirk." Scrivener7 Sep 23 #119

It IS a big deal sdfernando Sep 23 #46

K&R. I didn't see the original thread, but I think some of its poo-poo overflowed Torchlight Sep 23 #56

My BC copy was $47.50 through the same service. CrispyQ Sep 23 #58

I am 77 years old and have never changed my name. PoindexterOglethorpe Sep 23 #59

There is a lot of social pressure in many communities for a woman to change her name. hunter Sep 23 #93

I lived in Minneapolis in the early years of my marriage. PoindexterOglethorpe Wednesday #140

Just deal with it. Maru Kitteh Sep 23 #65

Seems to be the attitude--even among quite a few (male, I assume) DUers on this thread hlthe2b Sep 23 #66

And my favorite: "Well, it wouldn't be an issue for ME, so it isn't an issue!" Scrivener7 Sep 23 #113

Sexism all around us. yardwork Wednesday #146

I recall an article about a poor man in Wisconsin who kept driving to Chicago repeatedly to get his birth certificate lostnfound Sep 23 #68

Isn't it amazing how prevalent gaslighting is here? littlemissmartypants Sep 23 #71

Also sealioning! Also dismissing! Also misinformation! It's a bonanza of obnoxiousness! Scrivener7 Sep 23 #116

Birth certificates have never been free synni Sep 23 #77

Using "never" is really silly. Some states DID and all or nearly all DO. But that isn't the point hlthe2b Sep 23 #101

Many years Rebl2 Sep 23 #78

Poll Tax PurgedVoter Sep 23 #81

as an adoptee mokeyz Sep 23 #83

I have another complex paper trail TommyT139 Sep 23 #95

your dad did you a solid Skittles Sep 23 #86

In Ohio if there were multiple marriages Hope22 Sep 23 #87

Much ado about nothing Gimpyknee Sep 23 #92

Kick SheltieLover Sep 23 #103

I have ForgedCrank Sep 23 #104

yeah. None of this is a big deal to men... hlthe2b Sep 23 #107

Those are ForgedCrank Sep 23 #117

You aren't even responding to the issues on this thread. Not having read any of it, obviously. hlthe2b Sep 23 #133

Ok ForgedCrank Sep 23 #134

Last Name voting issue ms.pamela Sep 23 #111

Most of us (at lest the majority women on this thread know). The men mostlly have shown they hlthe2b Sep 23 #112

I'm amazed at the energy used to downplay this marginalization tactic. Ilikepurple Sep 23 #118

The clear message here is that if a bunch of women lose the right to vote, it's no big deal. Scrivener7 Sep 23 #124

This will discourage women from taking their husband's names when they marry. milestogo Sep 23 #125

It's a total pain in the ass for women who Warpy Sep 23 #130

Thanks hil. I deleted. Then I thought better of it, came across applegrove Sep 23 #131

Thank you JustAnotherGen Sep 23 #132

Then there's this character. Totally Tunsie Sep 23 #135

NH libertarians passed this Tesha Sep 23 #136

To the handful of naysayers: "this will never happen" on this thread--SEE THE POST ABOVE #136 hlthe2b Wednesday #143

I don't see anyone saying it will NEVER happen Wiz Imp Wednesday #166

You haven't looked then. hlthe2b Wednesday #169

It passed in New Hampshire with zero Democratic votes Wiz Imp Wednesday #165

People who think it's a fine idea Tesha Wednesday #171

I'm surprised the majority of Harris voters seemed to be OK with the law. Wiz Imp Wednesday #172

We have one TV station - which is not helpful Tesha Wednesday #173

Don't get me started róisín_dubh Wednesday #142

Ridiculous kkmarie Wednesday #144

It's absolutely ridiculous and infuriating. still-prayin4rain Wednesday #148

True that it's an expense. But overall, why not see the expense as an investment in original documents, which ancianita Wednesday #151

For gawd's sakes, ancianita, it is an equity issue and an intentional effort to disenfranchise women! hlthe2b Wednesday #152

Thanks. Understood. It's likely because I didn't read any previous thread on this, I did not know this part: ancianita Wednesday #160

Thanks ancianita for taking the time to go back... hlthe2b Wednesday #162

Passport $190, updated birth certificate $30 Clouds Passing Wednesday #155

So you live in the state of your birth? Hardly comparable, but good on you. hlthe2b Wednesday #156