ATTN DC RESIDENTS: TRUMP WILL BE ON PATROL TONIGHT!!! [View all]

Trump has announced that he will patrol the streets of DC tonight along with his Gestapo.

MESSAGE TO DC RESIDENTS FROM A FRIEND WHO LIVES ON CAPITOL HILL:

- Don't go outside unless it's absolutely necessary.

-- If you go anywhere, tell several friends (1) where you are going, (2) your time schedule -- leave, return, and (3) your attorney's phone number.

-- If you go out and Trump is in your neighborhood, be sure to take with you a dozen or so eggs as well as all the rotten fruit and vegetables you can find. NO ROCKS OR BRICKS!! NO MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!! NO FIREARMS!!