It is to laugh - A couple of groaners!

Every year Billy’s father asked him what he wanted for his birthday and every year Billy said he wanted a pink golf ball. For years and years this was the only gift he ever requested. If it was his birthday he wanted a pink golf ball, if it was Christmas he only ever wanted a pink golf ball. Nothing else would tempt him. Eventually Billy’s father got tired of buying his son pink golf balls, so for his 18th birthday he got him a surprise present – a car. Billy liked the car and took it into town for a spin. Passing a sporting goods store he saw they had some pink golf balls in the window so he parked on the curb and crossed the road to take a closer look. Halfway across the road he was hit by a truck. Billy’s father came to see him in the hospital. He knew Billy wasn’t going to make it and he wanted to ask his son one question before he died. “Billy,” he said. “You’ve never played golf, so why for all these years did you only ever want pink golf balls as gifts?” Billy looked up at his father, opened his mouth to speak, then died. And the moral of this story is, you should always look both ways before crossing the street.

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Joe suffers from very bad headaches and eventually finds a doctor who offers a solution. “The good news is that I can cure your headaches,” says the doctor. “The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a rare condition which causes your testicles to press against the base of your spine. It’s that pressure that causes the headaches.” Joe is shocked but decides he has no choice but to go under the knife. After the operation Joe feels much better and decides to treat himself to a new suit. He goes into a tailor’s to see what’s on offer. The tailor looks at him and says, “Let’s see. I’d guess you take a size 44 long?” Joe laughs, “That’s right. How did you know my exact size?” “It’s my job to know,” says the tailor. “How about a new shirt to go with it? I’d say you take a 34 sleeve and a 16 neck.” “Right again,” says Joe. “How did you know?” “It’s my job,” says the tailor. “How about some new underwear as well? Let’s see, I’d say you’re a size 36.” Joe laughs, “Got you that time. I’m actually a 34. I’ve worn size 34 since I was 18.” The tailor tuts, “You shouldn’t do that, sir. You see a size 34 would press your testicles against your spine and give you terrible headaches.”