I don't have that problem.

So I won't say more, especially if money is involved, and when isn't it?

With a friend over a somewhat similar situation. Nowhere near as bad as this. My friend is super talented, creative, intelligent, and witty. She would choose ordinary men and I couldn’t stand it.

l feel like all I can do is wait for her to come to her senses, which I don't see happening any time soon.

to better assess, thanks

Her son's father was in jail (that's a whole other story) and for some reason, he asked this guy to be some kind of liaison between him and my friend. So she started talking to this loser on the phone and the next thing I know, she's bailing him out of jail and moving him into her house! And if that doesn't beat all, I don't know what does!

Yikes!

not a lot of rational thinking going on, for sure

how old is her son, and does he know about this?

She started seeing the felon in 2024 and her son had met him. I don’t know if he knew the story of how they met, though. His father may have told him; I don't know. She doesn't tell me anything anymore. It's like pulling teeth to get her to respond to a text and she hardly says anything when she does.

sounds like her life has become a bit of a trainwreck

all I can say is don't give up on her, even if it's just the occasional text.......I feel for you, very difficult situation indeed

She's enamored with.

because I can't see anything even remotely attractive about him. I used to see men that looked like him in store parking lots and wonder what woman on God's green earth would be attracted to someone like that. I now have my answer.

it’s intoxicating. let him get away w crap i never wd have when i was younger. (nothing terrible.)
it didnt last long, but i’m lonelier now than i was b4 him.
it’s easy to feel like you’re never gonna find love again when you’re in your 70’s. esp if health shit leaves u isolated.

It hurts to lose a friend, especially when you get older and friends start dying on you. i would hate to be in your situation, because I would probably tell her off for being stupid, and that would probably make her stop talking to you altogether. In some ways, though, it would probably make you feel better to say what you really feel. Tell her she'd better watch her money, because that's what that piece of shit is after.

And make sure she knows how you feel about HER, and that you’re here when she needs you. Talking about HIM is sure to alienate her.
Leave the door open for her and let her know she’s always Welcome.
Easy for me to say, but that seems to be the only way to navigate this.
You’re a good friend and that’s what she needs to know.

and I never brought him up again. I've tried to make it clear to her that what I say to her is out of love and concern for her. I've told her more than once that I'm always here for her no matter what. But I may as well stand in front of a mirror and say it to myself. No matter what I say or how I try to word it, she takes offense and gets defensive.

You’ll still be there.
I’m hoping for you both that it happens.
I’m sending the whole package: Faith, Hope, and Love.
And a Hug for a great Friend.

You're very kind. We're actually fighting right now. We've rarely fought over the years. The last big fight we got into was 10 years ago and it was about tipping the maid at a hotel. We were leaving and I asked her for the key so I could go back to the room and leave a tip and she yelled at me that you don't tip for only one night. Well, things got heated and there were some old ladies watching and listening and I ended up screaming "you're all a bunch of f-ing cheapskates" and then I stormed out and cried all the way home.

But I did tip the maid.

If nothing else, you can ALWAYS post about it here, and/or try to work through it here. I’m rock-solid certain you’ll find MANY fellow travelers who can sympathize AND empathize with you. There’s A LOT of hard-won wisdom available here from which you can learn and take comfort. And it’s always freely given, with love and care.

Here’s a hug! ((((( * )))))

Right now, there have been texts flying back and forth because no matter what I say or how kindly I try to say it, she takes offense to it. I don’t know what to say. I don't want to say anything that I'll regret because right now I'm seriously pissed off about the whole situation and it's taking every ounce of self-control I have within me not to scream at her "WTF is wrong with you?"

my first wife left me for a harley.

One of the most disturbing examples is the fan culture surrounding serial killers like Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez who are still beyond all avenues of love and admiration. While their crimes were dreadful, both received fan mail during their trials; the Ramirez, famously known as "The Night Stalker," even married a fan while imprisoned. Social media has amplified this phenomenon, where online platforms such as Tumblr and TikTok harbor communities that romanticize serial killers. Such spaces glorify criminals; at times, they have an antihero status.

https://reflections.live/articles/19941/the-dark-appeal-why-serial-killers-fascinate-us-article-by-akanksha-dube-18330-m32pl83l.html

that these criminals get letters from women professing their undying love for them, sending them money, etc. And not just male prisoners, notorious female prisoners get mail from lovelorn men, too.

Back in my teens, I Ioved writing letters and I loved receiving them even more. This was way before the internet. I had over a dozen pen pals. When I moved back to Michigan from Tennessee in my late 20s, I wanted to get back into writing letters again. In those days, Rolling Stone had addresses of prisoners in the back of each issue and I thought who better to write to than these guys who have nothing better to do than write letters? So I wrote to a few of them and every single one of them wrote back that they couldn't wait to meet me when they got out and I was HORRIFIED! Holy shit. I never wanted to meet any of them; I just wanted to write letters! So I stopped doing that immediately and kicked myself for being so stupid.

And she is plenty bruised up and slapped around.

“If you can read this…. The Bitch Fell Off.

somewhere in the genealogy/dna of every european american there are hordes of barbarian rapists.

I’m on holiday in the UK, visiting the sites of my forebears’ rape and pillaging.
And musing over the Panic over “polluting our bloodlines”.
Like Tiedrich sez: “The Stupid… It Burns”