When I believed my 91 year old father bought a gun.

This was 11 years ago.

My sister found a print-out of gun ranges by Dad's computer. Dad never expressed an interest in guns or shooting until that time.

And Dad had just returned from driving to Florida to New Jersey. Plenty of states in between that allow for easier purchase of firearms. Maybe even someone in a parking lot.

Now, Dad and I had a sporadic relationship involving acrimony for many years.

I was scared shitless that between the hostility, his age, and signs of dementia, one day he'd pull out a weapon and shoot me. And expecting to be let go because of his age and frailty and mental condition.

When he left his house, I'd run to his bedroom, closets, etc. and check drawers, shoe boxes, anything, hoping to find that gun that might have been stowed away. I checked twice. Nada. Nothing.

When he died and I liquidated the house, I half-expected to find the theoretical gun. Again, nothing.

But for months, I was expecting my father to shoot me.

That's what gun violence will do to you. You expect the unexpected.