Why Valentine's day has a particular meaning for me ... I found a new love -- well, two of them --

Last edited Sun Feb 15, 2026, 08:29 AM - Edit history (1)

When I taught in western TN for a semester I noticed some stray kittens hanging around the apt. I was renting. Cute little harlequin kittens, hanging around outside the apt entrances -- at first I didn't realize that there were two of them (eventually three) because their markings were almost mirror images. I asked the mgmt. office about them and they said there was a momcat and several kittens who had been hanging around the pool since mid-Summer. IIRC Mom was a tuxedo tabby (gray tabby w/white bib and feet); there were two candidates for Dad, both big, obviously intact toms who looked truly feral, as was Mom. The kittens were apparently growing up outdoors and hiding in hedges and maybe under foundations. By Jan. it appeared that one of the harlequin kittens had been run over and the other disappeared. It seemed no one else was going to do anything about them, so I decided it would be me (bear in mind I was pretty broke w/no job lined up after Dec., so not a casual decision). I borrowed a trap from the vet and set it up. Mom and three babies (or was it four?) were inside when I sprung the trap -- but the door hung, and all escaped ! Meanwhile I had been leaving food, water, and insulated shelters of a sort outside as the weather grew colder and colder. As the deadline for moving out approached, I got the cats gradually more accustomed to my presence and started letting them inside my apt., which revealed there were more of them than I realized -- apparently two successive litters from the same queen, with notable family resemblances, despite the huge variety of coats (tabbies, tuxes, harlequins, some orange splotches and orange stripes). Over the next few nights I stayed up late with the door partially open (despite Winter weather) and let them wander in when they wanted, encouraged by a game of "chase the vittle" with tasty cat treats. I had pet carriers set out with the doors open and old towels for linings, and some of them just walked in and set up camp. I also had two litter boxes which a few laid down in and even took a nap. But my lease was running out, and I needed to make some final decisions.

I had already visited the Humane Society, where a very nice, helpful, but waaaay too busy woman let me know my (realistic) options. One was Rabies Control, the worst option. I ended up taking two of the older litter there -- a handsome tuxedo and a gray tuxedo tabby -- on the assurance that local ladies kept watch on Rabies Control and scooped up cats if the cages were getting too crowded. Apparently, as long as the cages didn't fill up they could stay until someone adopted them. Still, it was wrenching to leave them there, in those cramped cages with dogs barking and baying in the next building. Their pictures were posted online to invite adoption, and before long they had been adopted, to my great relief. Leaving them with the Humane Society was out of the question as they were being inundated with a population explosion of feral cats, as locals didn't seem to do much in the way of spaying and neutering. They were too young for trap, neuter, and release -- and besides I was getting too fond of them. One had already taken a nip at my toes as they were hanging over the edge of the bed and they seemed like they were probably willing to settle in. But I had to move. So I kidnapped the orange-and-white one I had decided to name Caramel (once you name them, you're kind of stuck ). Drove 5-6 hours with him in a pet carrier, complaining all the while. I moved in with Mom (who of course gave advance permission for the new cats, to share the house with her two older cats) and had no kitten-proof area suitable for him, but needed to put a door between him and the other cats. Left him in the downstairs "workroom" (which wasn't seeing much use) with a food dish and litter box. He darted under some shelves and hid for the longest time. After 2-3 days he started coming out to get his food when I brought it, and eventually he settled in and met the other cats (both queens).

By this point, it was really deadline time for my lease, and I wanted to get two more kittens. I quickly caught a gray tuxedo tabby female and dropped her at the "Barn Cat Rescue" run by a local vet, who gave her the most economical spay and vax I could find. While I was waiting to pick her up I tried to get the remaining kitten, but he seemed to go crazy when I tried to catch him -- so much so that I was afraid he would injure himself if I didn't give up (he tried to jump through a window pane, apparently not understanding glass, and then tried to force his head underneath the back door, where there was only a small crack). I think he may have had some sort of vision problem, based on his strange behavior. He may have had hearing problems as well. Out of time, and with no clever solutions I could see, I abandoned him to take his chances in the wild, hoping that maybe he would meet up with his mother again. Then I picked up Ralph (named after one of the Monroe "Brothers" from Green Acres) and drove her all the way to Mom's. She recovered from the anesthetic and began complaining and poking me with her claws through the pet carrier's grille -- I had her in the front seat, so I could keep checking that she was OK. She got housed in the work room -- Caramel was much calmed down by now -- and went nuts. She jumped up onto a shelf and knocked down some picture frames, breaking all their glass. She crawled behind the dryer and clawed through the aluminum-foil wrapper of the exhaust, crawled into that and into an aluminum pipe, and was trying to force her way out of the narrow exit, which was covered with a flap. I had to pull out the dryer, cut the carpet and padding off of the stairs and saw in two a board of the stairway landing to get to the pipe she was in. I finally got it loose and let her escape forwards, since she seemed to be jammed too tight to go backwards. What an anxious episode that was ! There's still signs of damage to the stairs, where I never got around to putting the carpet back down. I think I had to lock her in a bathroom for a while, but eventually regular feedings got them both domesticated. Despite, or perhaps because, they lived the first several months of their lives outside, they've never shown any interest in escaping to the great outdoors, but have become sweet, lovable little house cats, who enjoy sharing a warm chair or bed with their humans (Mother and I are now jointly owned) and after the passing of Mother's cats they have the whole house to roam in. There have been times when I've worried that I might have to turn them over to friends or even a no-kill shelter when I was having such health and money problems that I couldn't properly care for them. It was getting close to the point where I was going to give them up if things got any worse, but slowly things have improved and they're still here, to my great satisfaction. When life is not going well, it's hard to handle by yourself, but a couple of non-human companions make it all feel better even though they don't solve any material problems. We've learned their habits and they've learned ours, and just sharing their company is a balm, sometime one sorely needed. I can't imagine trying to keep going without them to provide emotional support.

What's all that got to do with Valentine's Day ? Well, it was 2/14 when I left my apt. and drove Ralph to her forever home. I had still been looking for a name for her -- all my attempts to name the cats had been tentative, since their itty bitty kitty genitalia were not obvious, especially from a distance, and I had tried for ambiguous or unisex names. I happened to hear on the news that Mary Grace Canfield, who played Ralph Monroe on Green Acres, had just passed away and I decided to name my cat after that character -- Ralph, despite being female. I have since come to call her Ralphie Girl much of the time. (I also call her "Ratt-Butt", but that's another story.) Anyway, whenever Valentine's Day rolls around, I remember the saga of that time when I drove until late at night to give her a forever home, and the ensuing havoc that kept me up until the wee hours. But all's well that ends well.

(Gotta get that pix host set up, and post their portraits *someday* ....)