Martini Update
I'm afraid the news is not good. Martini has a spot on her right kidney and it's probably cancer and even if it's not, it's probably something just as serious. As soon as the vet said cancer, I started crying and didn't hear another word she said.
The next step is x-rays and ultrasound to see if there are more spots. Then the vet said possibly surgery and chemo, which I'm negative about.
Yesterday after my conversation with the vet and crying, I laid down on the couch and Martini came and laid on top of me with her head on my shoulder and her paw on my neck, like she was giving me a hug. Oh my sweet baby cat. She fills my heart everyday. When my previous cat, Boots, died, I swore I'd never get another cat because I didn't want to go through the pain of losing one ever again. And yet, here I am.
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Very hard to give your love to an animal who will not outlive you, very sad when they pass. I would still advise you to get another cat if you can.
I do have another cat, Holly. It's funny, when I adopted them (they were in same cage at Petsmart), I thought they would eat together, sleep together, play together, keep each other company, but they lead two entirely separate lives. They used to wrestle around for a minute or two in their younger days and occasionally, Holly would smack Martini on the top of her head as she walked by but they basically ignore each other now. It's like having two only cats.
Healing vibes to you & Martini.
🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
There's the old saying, let's not get ahead of the process.
I only say that because you did the brave and courageous thing by opening your heart again and Martini is its full time occupant. I pray that your journey is but at a reflective pause, and assuming her quality of life warrants.
Please let this day be the beginning of a special leg if your love affair with Martini, MIButterfly.
Let this be a time of fulfillment, fulfillment of those beautiful promises that love allow us to make and then struggle to keep.
Fulfillment in the reflection on all those beautiful memories that make you realize she was even more wonderful than you thought in your ode to her on her birthday a few short weeks ago.
Fulfillment in focusing on Martinis part of this journey much as she was so willingly a part of yours.
Fulfillment in the opportunity to celebrate a life lived fully with her, versus one celebrating her memory.
Please know that all these words are offered with love, with a shared broken heart, and the tears of having shared and lost that kind of love myself.
We will gladly hold your hand through this incredibly painful and yet immensely rewarding part of your journey should you be willing.
Love, John
Thank you for taking the time to write so beautifully and eloquently. Your words have touched my heart. You are so kind. I appreciate it more than I can ever say.
I will cherish whatever time I have with Martini. I feel so grateful and humbled that there are so many kind and caring people here on DU, including you. The support I've received means everything to me.
"Life without one is worse than the pain of losing one." Very wise words indeed. Thank you for showing me a different (and better) way of looking at it!
I hope you are doing well now.