It was a nice day today.

I'll tell this story with the pretext that my spouse and I have been just relatively recently getting out after hunkering down for 5 years because of the pandemic. We have not really done anything super exciting, but we have been going out.

Another pre-text: After cutting my hair myself for 5 years during the pandemic (and my wife's hair as well), I've started going to a "modern" barbershop. I really like my barber. And a few minutes ago, I did a little online research on him. Turns out that in addition to being a barber, he's a semi-famous comedian that has performed at some well known comedy clubs, and has been on VH1, etc. I had no idea he was a comedian, since he is relatively quiet, polite, and reserved.

My wife has been very stressed with work lately, but today she had the day off. I asked her what she was going to do, and she said "nothing". So I said "let's get out of the house".

Now, my wife, at 65, can still turn heads, unlike me. I said "dress up a little". She asked why, and I said I wanted to introduce her to my barber. So we both went to the barbershop. She took a seat and I introduced her. All very polite and friendly like.

The barber was trimming my beard, and he had some R rated movie on the TV. There are several other barbers in this shop, and it is very noisy in there. My wife was the only woman in the place. The barber softly says in my ear...good looking woman. I said thank you. Then he said, almost whispering "this movie has a lot of swearing in it. would you like me to turn it off? I don't want to offend your wife".

I said "Are you kidding me? She swears like a sailor"!

So while he was trimming my beard, he looks at my wife and says "I feel like I'm shaving a fucking hedgehog". It was his delivery that made it hilarious. I started coughing because I was laughing so hard. And my wife just about fell out of her chair laughing.

He said "I made her laugh"! I said "That was beautiful".

The barbershop is in the town I grew up in, so we went on a walking tour and I showed her all of the places I used to work and told her stories about my past that she never heard before.

Then, I took her to the weed store.

Then, we went to lunch at that deli I typed about the other day where I got that cheesesteak.

This place is a true piece of work, and I never thought I would meet someone who talks more than I do, but the owner who waited on us has me topped by a mile.

"One footlong cheesesteak please." The guy started his rapid-fire conversation:

OK bud how you want it we have the best steak here and personally I would get it with a touch of horseradish and some steak sauce with some onions and peppers you're gonna fucking love it all our beef is fresh and I'll fix it just perfect have you been here before you look familiar I'll take care of you and your wife my friend you're going to love this freakin' cheesesteak I'll make it personally let me fix it the way I like you'll love it I was a driver for years until I hurt my arm and had to stop doing that my arm was limp and just hanging there like a wet noodle and...

I looked him in the eye and said "I got a wet noodle I can show you".

The whole place cracked up and my wife slapped me in the back of the head while laughing.

It was a nice day.

The End