Trump's Green-Ribbon Presidency

Kristoffer Ealy

Every spring in elementary school, the entire student body filed out onto the blacktop for Field Day. Long jump. Distance throw. The mile run. Speed relays. Basketball. Softball. Soccer. It was the one day of the year where the academic hierarchy collapsed and something more primal took over. And when the dust settled, the ribbon system was brutally honest. Blue was first. Red was second. White was third. In later years, they added yellow for fourth, which I didn’t love winning, but could live with — at least you medaled. At least there was something to hold up and say I competed and I placed.

But there was one ribbon nobody wanted. The green ribbon. The participation ribbon. The we-feel-sorry-for-you ribbon dressed up in school colors. Every kid I knew understood exactly what the green ribbon meant, and it wasn’t encouragement — it was pity with a safety pin on it. Teachers handed it out with that particular smile adults use when they’re trying to convince a child that losing is actually winning if you squint hard enough. Nobody squinted hard enough. The green ribbon went in the pocket, then in the trash, and was never spoken of again.

I was competitive enough to avoid it most years. But in fifth grade, during the distance throw, I finished fourth. This was before the yellow ribbon existed, which meant there was nothing standing between my performance and the green. I was furious — not at the kids who beat me, but at myself for not performing well enough to medal. I did not want anyone to manufacture comfort for me. I did not need the adults in my life to invent a new category of achievement so I could feel better about where I finished. If the school had pulled me aside and said “Kristoffer, we created the Distance Beyond Award and we think you deserve it because your throw was beyond special,” I would have been humiliated. Because even at ten years old, I understood that a fake award isn’t recognition. It’s an announcement that you needed one.

Mike Johnson stood at a podium at the National Republican Congressional Committee fundraiser in Washington, D.C. this week and announced — with a straight face, in front of cameras, as the sitting Speaker of the United States House of Representatives — that he had invented a brand new award. Not presented one. Not bestowed one that existed before he walked into that room. Invented one. On the spot. For one man. “Tonight, we have created a new award,” Johnson told the crowd. “We are going to do something we’ve never done before. We’re going to honor him with a new award that we will present annually from this point forward.” He then produced what he described as “this beautiful golden statue” — appropriate, he assured everyone, “for the golden era.” The award had a name. The America First Award. Its first-ever recipient was, surprise, surprise, Donald J. Trump.

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