Donald Trump Lies To UN General Assembly, Nobody Believes Him

Hey, you wanna hear some bullshit?

Donald Trump delivered a shambolic crapsack of a speech to the UN General Assembly in New York today, blowing past his allotted 15 minutes and ranting for nearly an hour about how immigration and clean energy will ruin Europe and all the other good countries, admonishing the assembled diplomats, “I’m really good at this stuff. Your countries are going to hell.” We haven’t seen whether he also told the other world leaders about a beautiful word he rediscovered, “groceries,” which so few people have heard of, and damned if we’re going to hurt our brain watching the whole speech.

It kicked off with Trump grousing that the teleprompter didn’t work, then moved on to important topics like how he was pretty sure the world body is useless, especially since it didn’t even help him end any of the “seven wars” he thinks he ended since taking office but didn’t. (That’s up from six imaginary war-endings in August; we expect the number of wars he’s ended to grow exponentially by the end of the year, when he’ll run out of countries on the planet.) He accused UN refugee programs of causing “invasions” of migrants that will be cause the “death of western Europe,” because he is a racist and proud of it. And of course he bragged to the UN about how his deployment of military troops to Washington DC had ended crime there, because he is required by law to lie about everything. This time, he didn’t claim that crime statistics are inflated by domestic violence reports, which he’s sure aren’t real anyway.

Trump also explained that he would almost certainly have ended Russia’s war against Ukraine by now if only other countries would just stop buying Russian oil, apparently forgetting that foolproof plan he had to end the Ukraine war in one day after being sworn in.

Mostly, Trump couldn’t stop himself from returning again and again to the topics of clean energy and immigration, both of which he hates passionately while not understanding a goddamn thing about them. Trump assured Western nations that if they didn’t eliminate both immigration and clean energy, they will be destroyed by the “double-tailed monster” of those two great threats.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/donald-trump-lies-to-un-general-assembly