Border Patrol Agent Testifies On DC 'Sandwich Guy': 'I Could Smell The Onions'
Source: Huff Post
Nov 4, 2025, 11:50 AM EST | Updated 2 hours ago
The U.S. Border Patrol agent who was struck with a Subway sandwich in Washington, D.C., in August testified on the incident in federal court on Tuesday.
Gregory A. Lairmore, a 23-year veteran of the agency, said he was not injured by the sandwich toss, but said he could feel its impact through the ballistic vest he was wearing. It came apart and kind of exploded when it struck his chest, according to Lairmore. I could smell the onions and mustard, he said.
Lairmore was called to the stand to testify in the trial of D.C. Sandwich Guy Sean Dunn, whos become something of a local anti-Trump resistance hero. Viral videos showed Dunn hurling the sandwich at Lairmore after calling him and other federal agents fascists shortly before the president declared a crime emergency in Washington, D.C.
Jeanine Pirro, the U.S. attorney for D.C., tried to charge Dunn with felony assault of a federal agent, but a grand jury declined to return an indictment. Prosecutors have proceeded with a misdemeanor charge against Dunn. His jury trial started on Tuesday.
Read more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dc-sandwich-guy-border-patrol-testifies_n_690a25f4e4b04ad08e189683?origin=home-zone-b-unit
REFERENCE - https://www.democraticunderground.com/10143558558
It's a full moon folks.

(just took this tonight on my iPhone 17 Pro - all wobbly handheld)
sheshe2
(94,878 posts)Magnificent. Thanks for the pic.
3825-87867
(1,716 posts)!
Pinback
(13,443 posts)A local radio station in the eighties had a DJ in the morning who always had a segment called "Misconstrued Lyrics." "There's a bathroom on the right" featured prominently
Pinback
(13,443 posts)Im not from Philly, but Im sure I would have enjoyed that show. My cousin told me shortly after that Creedence album came out that she misheard the lyrics that way, so she independently invented that one along with a few million other people.
I remember several years back somebody came out with a book of funny misheard lyrics; the book was titled Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy.
BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)UpInArms
(53,730 posts)because of his armpits
twodogsbarking
(16,760 posts)Clouds Passing
(6,540 posts)0rganism
(25,405 posts)
SSJVegeta
(2,042 posts)Cause thats what this timeline is now
Klarkashton
(4,564 posts)Shit ever be brought to a goddamn trial.
Cirsium
(3,145 posts)The guy must have had some mustard on that throw.
BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)he might end up with some ketchup "thrown" too!
I'd relish that.
BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)Cirsium
(3,145 posts)BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)(time for me to go to bed
orangecrush
(27,582 posts)BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)JustABozoOnThisBus
(24,486 posts)Or, not since PinboyThreeNiner
BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)3825-87867
(1,716 posts)...damn lucky it was a deadly sub he "felt"and not a 762 like some of my friends!
Bone spurs must have been contagious.
Prick!
SomewhereInTheMiddle
(591 posts)With that kind of ballistic resistance, I hope he never faces a real weapon - like a lightly lobbed pebble or an airsoft powered plastic ball.
I can believe the scent statements. But his claim of feeling the impact makes me wonder if his great grandmother slept on a stack of mattresses hiding a legume. A very sensitive guy.
Diraven
(1,739 posts)This is making me hungry.
littlemissmartypants
(30,897 posts)If it weren't for the fact ICE was the motivation, it would be even funnier.
The moon shot is a winner! ❤️
2na fisherman
(168 posts)He's the HERO of the stupid! And I heard that the defendant allegedly threw a can of soda at him too but that case had to be thrown out because everyone knows you can't make a case out of one can.
Chrysanthemum
(216 posts)Cute joke.
TheRickles
(3,063 posts)That necessitated a visit to his primary care doctor, which led to a prescription for some very powerful medications, and being placed on extended medical leave from work. So he'll be suing for personal injury and damages and PTSD and whatever else there is.
Ridiculous!
NBachers
(19,038 posts)2MuchNoise
(608 posts)Don't fire until you see the whites of their...Er um until you smell the onions and mustard.
CaptainTruth
(8,000 posts)Rebl2
(17,217 posts)nuxvomica
(13,781 posts)Or a physicist, to contradict the use of "exploded" when the projectile (a submarine sandwich) actually "disintegrated" on impact. Of course that testimony could be even more hilarious, especially if they do a detailed walk-through like it was the Zapruder film.
SomewhereInTheMiddle
(591 posts)Grokenstein
(6,206 posts)The krasnov kombo.
moniss
(8,386 posts)around the country and around the world.
sinkingfeeling
(56,780 posts)progressoid
(52,322 posts)Rebl2
(17,217 posts)of the smell of onions and mustard!😱
PurgedVoter
(2,636 posts)To be haunted by the smell of onions and mustard. To be unable to enter a sandwich shop because it triggers your flashbacks. The horror! It never stops. Waking up screaming and knowing that without the bullet proof vest, it might have been a close thing.
And then there is the survivors guilt. Knowing that while you lived, the victims of the Bowling Green massacre never had a chance.
58Sunliner
(6,245 posts)BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)It would have been like a torpedo! And it wouldn't have needed to be a "foot long" either!

58Sunliner
(6,245 posts)DBoon
(24,514 posts)Response to BumRushDaShow (Original post)
underpants This message was self-deleted by its author.
republianmushroom
(22,078 posts)niyad
(128,540 posts)CanonRay
(15,808 posts)fargone
(502 posts)EuterpeThelo
(122 posts)But mainly because (a) they cost so much after they deported everyone that picked them for us, and (b) thinking about the people who can't even afford one without SNAP.
efhmc
(15,934 posts)bottoms to sautee and use in soups, etc.
Randomthought
(971 posts)Onion and mustard? Stinky guy .
DBoon
(24,514 posts)he might not smell like onion
efhmc
(15,934 posts)BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)What's funny is that when the story first broke about this guy, they called the thing a "hoagie", which is what we call them here in Philly (as a regional name for something in a long roll)... But I know Subway basically calls theirs "Subs", which is more common in much of the country. I know in New England, they'll heat them and call them "grinders" (and I think Subway also calls them that if they run them through an oven).
So I guess to solve that problem, they just started calling it "a sandwich" and dubbed him "Sandwich Guy".
SomewhereInTheMiddle
(591 posts)Last edited Fri Nov 7, 2025, 03:26 AM - Edit history (1)
... I remember people using po' boys and hoagies to describe the long cold cut concoction.
BumRushDaShow
(163,346 posts)mostly shrimp!
Aristus
(71,304 posts)"And tell me again what the plaintiff did?"
"He done th'ew a sammich at me!..."
"Case dismissed. And get your putrid, yellow-bellied carcass out of my court room, and slither back into whatever swamp you oozed out of."

DrFunkenstein
(8,864 posts)...This guy throws a sandwich.
mike_c
(36,841 posts)I'm surprised the nazi could give testimony with a straight face. "Yes, I feared for my life when I saw a slice of tomato. Really. It was terrifying. "
Raven123
(7,317 posts)Beacool
(30,494 posts)Wuuaahhh!!!! Your honor, he hit me with a sandwich, I could smell the onions and the mustard!!! Oh, the humanity!!! These weak little goons who are terrorizing people, couldn't handle a sandwich being thrown at them. The whole thing seems like something out of the Onion. Pathetic....
tonekat
(2,406 posts)"It puts the mustard on it's skin or it gets the hose!"
Hekate
(100,129 posts)The big bold tough manly man got onion and mustard on his tactical vest?
tonekat
(2,406 posts)Vicious
You hit me with a sandwich
I'm so glad it's not a Manwich
Oh, baby, you're so vicious
Vicious
You want me to hit you with a stick
But all I've got's a guitar pick
Heh, baby, you're so vicious
[Chorus]
When I watch you come, baby, I just wanna run, far away
You're not the kind of person 'round I wanna stay
When I see you walking down the street
I step on your hands and I mangle your feet
You're not the kind of person that I want to meet
Oh, babe, you're so vicious
You're just so vicious