NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what was widely regarded as the ultimate humiliation of Donald J. Trump, on Monday workmen in midtown Manhattan began putting writer E. Jean Carroll’s name on Trump Tower.

The name-change was mandated after Carroll rejected Trump’s attempt to pay the millions he owes her in Trumpcoin, sources said.

In a desperate bid to keep his name on his signature building, he offered Carroll the naming rights to Eric Trump, which she immediately refused.

Although Carroll has yet to decide how to spend Trump’s millions, she reportedly is mulling large donations to the World Windmill Foundation, Save the Algae, and the Obama Presidential Center.