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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Borowitz Report-Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump's DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/only-remaining-musical-act-in-trumps
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)In a last-ditch move to salvage his US Freedom 250 concert, Donald J. Trump announced on Monday that the only remaining musical act will be Secretary of State Marco Rubio playing a kazoo.
Quite frankly, we dont need no-talent losers like the Commodores, Trump posted on Truth Social. We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!
According to sources, Rubio is taking his new assignment extremely seriously, spending hours practicing the kazoo in the Situation Room.
In an official statement, Rubio declared, I am honored to blow anything President Trump asks me to.
Quite frankly, we dont need no-talent losers like the Commodores, Trump posted on Truth Social. We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!
According to sources, Rubio is taking his new assignment extremely seriously, spending hours practicing the kazoo in the Situation Room.
In an official statement, Rubio declared, I am honored to blow anything President Trump asks me to.
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The Borowitz Report-Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump's DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo (Original Post)
LetMyPeopleVote
11 hrs ago
OP
Actually he'd be better as playing the jaw harp due to his extensive experience at tonguing Trump's ass.
cstanleytech
9 hrs ago
#13
Dunno. The 8 guys playing toilet paper on hair combs - - - they're pretty big in Alabama.
3Hotdogs
10 hrs ago
#5
With JD Vance joining as percussionist playing spoons with two cymbals between his knees while Lee Greenwood sings
ChicagoTeamster
10 hrs ago
#8
Diamond_Dog
(41,249 posts)1. Will he be wearing his clown-sized Florsheims too?
EYESORE 9001
(29,923 posts)2. He could get Kegsbreath to accompany on the swinette
Decorum prevents me from describing the instrument, but the Urban Dictionary is ready to oblige
Walleye
(45,607 posts)3. There's no talent at all in this administration if there was, it was fired
I remember Secretary of State, Anthony Blinken, playing and singing Hoochie Coochie Man he was great
gab13by13
(32,879 posts)4. Lyndsey Graham can play the 1 string bass.
cstanleytech
(28,628 posts)13. Actually he'd be better as playing the jaw harp due to his extensive experience at tonguing Trump's ass.
3Hotdogs
(15,606 posts)5. Dunno. The 8 guys playing toilet paper on hair combs - - - they're pretty big in Alabama.
2MuchNoise
(891 posts)6. trump will play his invisible accordian.
sop
(19,513 posts)7. No one's suggested the skin flute?
ChicagoTeamster
(1,300 posts)8. With JD Vance joining as percussionist playing spoons with two cymbals between his knees while Lee Greenwood sings
Historic NY
(40,159 posts)9. On the cheap
he can use his comb and a piece of wax paper.
Martin Eden
(15,925 posts)10. That last line made me LOL
On that stage will he play the kazoo AND fellate
To make this show truly great?
niyad
(134,336 posts)11. I nearly spit out my coffee at that last sentence.
erronis
(24,621 posts)12. t'rump itself will provide the bass note. Never heard a baser note ever!
With accents of barnyard and sulfur.
Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin
(137,883 posts)15. He'll also fart the National Anthem to open the whole thing
Exp
(1,041 posts)14. Ouch! eom