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LetMyPeopleVote

(182,783 posts)
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 08:13 AM 11 hrs ago

The Borowitz Report-Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump's DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo


https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/only-remaining-musical-act-in-trumps

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a last-ditch move to salvage his “US Freedom 250” concert, Donald J. Trump announced on Monday that the only remaining musical act will be Secretary of State Marco Rubio playing a kazoo.

“Quite frankly, we don’t need no-talent losers like the Commodores,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!”

According to sources, Rubio is taking his new assignment extremely seriously, spending hours practicing the kazoo in the Situation Room.

In an official statement, Rubio declared, “I am honored to blow anything President Trump asks me to.”
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EYESORE 9001

(29,923 posts)
2. He could get Kegsbreath to accompany on the swinette
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 08:16 AM
11 hrs ago

Decorum prevents me from describing the instrument, but the Urban Dictionary is ready to oblige

Walleye

(45,607 posts)
3. There's no talent at all in this administration if there was, it was fired
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 08:28 AM
11 hrs ago

I remember Secretary of State, Anthony Blinken, playing and singing” Hoochie Coochie Man” he was great

cstanleytech

(28,628 posts)
13. Actually he'd be better as playing the jaw harp due to his extensive experience at tonguing Trump's ass.
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 10:29 AM
9 hrs ago

ChicagoTeamster

(1,300 posts)
8. With JD Vance joining as percussionist playing spoons with two cymbals between his knees while Lee Greenwood sings
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 09:41 AM
10 hrs ago

Martin Eden

(15,925 posts)
10. That last line made me LOL
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 09:55 AM
9 hrs ago

On that stage will he play the kazoo AND fellate

To make this show truly great?

erronis

(24,621 posts)
12. t'rump itself will provide the bass note. Never heard a baser note ever!
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 10:15 AM
9 hrs ago

With accents of barnyard and sulfur.

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