PERSIAN GULF (The Borowitz Report)—Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner was “caught red handed” trying to establish his own tollbooth in the Strait of Hormuz, Iran’s Revolutionary Guard reported on Tuesday.

Unsatisfied with the billions he has extracted from an array of Gulf states, Kushner had hoped to cash in on the Hormuz bonanza before he was nabbed by the Iranians.

“Why should you guys be the only ones who get in on this grift?” an irate Kushner shrieked at the Revolutionary Guards as they zip-tied him.

Asked to comment on her husband’s detention in Iran, Ivanka Trump said, “It is what it is.”