Spurious News: Gas pump manufacturer receives "shocking" order for racing fuel pump computers!

AUSTIN, TEXAS (Spurious News Network) -- Gas pump giant Dover Fueling Systems is no stranger to unusual requests.

"We've made things you wouldn't believe," said David Crouse, Dover's chief executive officer. "A couple years ago, ExxonMobil wanted to introduce our Anthem UX dispenser into Dubai...but it had to be able to display something like fifty different languages. But this? This is...unique."

This morning, two of the largest convenience store chains in America, 7-Eleven and Circle K, placed orders for tens of thousands of gas pump computers calibrated to sell racing fuel.

"Racing fuel is gasoline," said Mr. Crouse. "As far as the dispenser is concerned, it's exactly the same as the gasoline you buy for your own car. The difference is it costs well over $10 per gallon, and a standard dispenser computer peaks out at $9.99 and nine-tenths. We can see a convenience store having maybe one dispenser for this product if they're close to a speedway, but to have the whole forecourt set up that way? None of us know why anyone would want this."

A quick call to the CEO of Circle K's parent corporation, the Canadian convenience store chain Alimentation Couche-Tard, ended the confusion quickly.

"We found out that President Trump plans to attack at least two more oil-producing countries," said CEO Brian Hannasch. "When he does, gasoline will hit $25 per gallon overnight. The day it does, Stan (Rosencranz, co-CEO of 7-Eleven) and I are going to be the smartest guys in the room."