In his latest attempt to keep the doomed coal industry alive for a few more years, Donald Trump yesterday ordered the US military to enter into long-term contracts to buy electricity generated by coal-burning power plants. He also announced that the Energy Department would be throwing away $175 million to modernize six aging coal plants in Kentucky, North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia.

At the White House ceremony where Trump signed his executive order, grateful members of the "Washington Coal Club" -- a front for America's filthiest energy industry -- presented him with a Major Award that they created just for him because he's a special boy. It's a trophy depicting a very hunky underground miner carrying a pick, with the title "Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal" inscribed on the base.

Maybe it's just the power of suggestion, but the 1997 sculpture of the little coal hero (guess the industry had a few boxes of the things on hand) even looks a bit like Trump, at least the youngified version of him in AI slop where he's a great big manly muscular action hero. We think we found the original item for sale ($950), and the face on that one looks ... less Trumpy? There could be a fun little investigative story to be done on how this thing came to be.

Weird accolades from polluters notwithstanding, let's just keep in mind that coal is the dirtiest fossil fuel, a huge source of planet-heating greenhouse emissions, and a pollutant that threatens human health. It's also far more expensive than nearly every other energy source except nuclear, which is why coal now generates only 16 percent of US electricity, down from 51 percent in 2001. Abundant fossil gas unlocked by the fracking boom of the last 25 years (a decidedly mixed bag, environmentally) has simply been far cheaper than coal, no matter how much Trump may lie about Democrats doing a "war on coal."

It was capitalism all along.

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