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Miles Archer

(23,230 posts)
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 12:33 AM Feb 12

Bondi bites head off of bat, is told "Ozzy already did that," screams "WHO'S OZZY," kicks Capitol Cop in the jewels

WASHINGTON DC: During a contentious hearing on Capitol Hill, Attorney General Pam Bondi screamed incoherently, punched several members of Congress, kicked a member of the Capitol Police in the nuts, bit the head off of a bat, vomited like a fire hydrant, and told the various members assembled that their mothers all ****ed ****s in hell. Before leaping through a window and scaling her way up the building to the roof, she screamed "I LOVE YOU PRESIDENT TRUMP!"

When asked to comment, President Donald Trump replied "Who's Dan Bondi? Never heard of him. Say, take a look at these plans for the Trump Monument. It used to be the Lincoln monument but I prefer presidents who can go to the movies without getting shot."

THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY, and I made it all up, so additional details to follow just as soon as I think of them.

13 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Bondi bites head off of bat, is told "Ozzy already did that," screams "WHO'S OZZY," kicks Capitol Cop in the jewels (Original Post) Miles Archer Feb 12 OP
I fainted dweller Feb 12 #1
Lol, you beat me to it, I was going to post that! mwmisses4289 Feb 12 #7
At night she turns into a venomous snake Wicked Blue Feb 12 #2
"Who's Ozzy?" Jack Valentino Feb 12 #3
Thank you, glad you liked it Miles Archer Feb 12 #5
For an encore, I'd like to see Bondi bite the head off of Trump--- Jack Valentino Feb 12 #6
Buying theater tickets for Diaper Donny, to go watch his wife's movie................ Jack Valentino Feb 12 #4
Well done, Miles, very well done. sheshe2 Feb 12 #8
May the power of Christ compel her Blue Owl Feb 12 #9
I laughed so hard stage left Feb 12 #10
love this! great job! nt orleans Feb 12 #11
Kick dalton99a Feb 12 #12
... MustLoveBeagles Feb 12 #13

Wicked Blue

(8,861 posts)
2. At night she turns into a venomous snake
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 12:47 AM
Feb 12

and slithers out to drink the blood of humans and animals

Jack Valentino

(4,996 posts)
3. "Who's Ozzy?"
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 12:48 AM
Feb 12
&list=RDTUuDWCL1JVY&start_radio=1

I trust that will be an adequate introduction for 'magat Pammy'...... LOL



(good show, Miles, I thought this was going to be
one of the big satire sites!)






Jack Valentino

(4,996 posts)
6. For an encore, I'd like to see Bondi bite the head off of Trump---
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 01:01 AM
Feb 12

or Trump bite the head off of Bondi----

or preferably BOTH things simultaneously !!!!!!!

(FAUX NEWS will LOVE IT!! Ought to get big coverage from THEM!))






'Killing two birds with one stone' or something like that...

stage left

(3,306 posts)
10. I laughed so hard
Thu Feb 12, 2026, 03:00 AM
Feb 12

I fainted and hit the edge of my desk on the way down and now I'm typing this while unconcious. And still laughing.

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