I used to think something was wrong with me because of it.

Having said that, I have a very few extremely close friendships. If you do it right, friendships are as difficult to maintain as marriages. I don't see how I could have a ton of good friends; I don't have that much time or energy to invest in a bunch of people. BUT... our small little cadre branches out, and so I have a lot of associates that are all but friends. People I enjoy seeing or talking with at gatherings, but that I wouldn't speak anything private to them.

Suits me just fine. These days, my circle has ramped down very small. The girlfriends I had that were really close to me either have disabilities like mine and are thus impeded from getting out or doing anything much... or they've already died. At my time of life, we lose more than we gain, it seems...

Seemingly acquired some dementia, and her husband and sister are preventing her from leaving her house.

Two have become only email "friends" who pal around together and never invite me.

The 5th is the whacko (as in, sees a psychiatrist weekly) brother of the deceased friend.

I am a widowed, orphaned, childless Only Child.

THAT IS ALONE, MES AMIS. THAT IS ALONE.

Lord knows, I've had some false ones over the years, but thankfully, they're long gone. I consider myself lucky to have the few good ones I have.

And I certainly can't talk about good people without including all the great ones here on DU! You have kept me sane more times than I can count. I've laughed; I've cried; I've commiserated; I've been informed; and I've been amazed by the incredible talent and kindness of so many members. You remind me that good, decent, kind, caring people still exist, even in this national nightmare we go through on a daily basis. I can't thank you enough for being here. DU forever!!! I love and appreciate you all.

I enjoyed using my witty talents to entertain, but there was some ambivalence. Then I realized that I have some form of social anxiety. I now don't like being around a lot of people and it's been like that for years. Some people would call me oversensitive, but I just consider myself hyperaware. I'm very sensitive to other people's dysfunctional behavior even when it's minor. Can't stand being with people who don't listen, speak all in clichés, are only concerned with what everyone else is talking about, and, well, I can go on. Oh! And I'm really bugged by people who just heard of something basic that's new to them and then they go on to tell you about it assuming you've never heard of it even though you have. Happened to me the other day. That phone conversation didn't last long.

While I have no problem with keeping my distance with people I do appreciate the patience other people have with putting up with annoying company.

"Always look on the bright side of life".

Second, when I look back in history,
to the destruction of people and things,
we all can say,
"We can't have nice things".