to have this nincompoop in charge of the FBI

Love your subject line too

I was watching the initial news conference with, I think, the chief of police (really tall white guy). He was answering questions in an informative and thorough way with exactly the kind of tone and professionalism you want in a situation like this.

Then mighty mouse bounds in and opens his sluice with a slurry of empty, platitudinous nothing. As if he had suddenly realized everyone forgot he was there and he needed to remind them.

I actually said "Oh fuck off" aloud, and I am not generally in the habit of hurling epithets at screens.

and the other is Kash Patel.

Perfect!

And I just about fell outta my chair laughing

that they had a suspect in custody, turned out to be some random dude who had nothing to do with it. He has to keep trying to grab the spotlight, make Piggy happy so he can keep his job. Wouldn't want the local cops who actually did the work to get the credit.

eom

He'll find that suspect if he has to turn D.C. upside-down!

Last edited Thu Nov 27, 2025, 10:41 AM - Edit history (1)

Let that sink in.

One shooter, taken down and in the hospital and Kash is out there, spewing every empty cliche any law enforcement officer has ever used. To those just tuning in, "make sure we find the perpetrators" sounds like the shooter(s) could be running loose in DC. All so he could look large and in charge. Like we needed that bit of confusing language in an already messed up developing story. He needs to go!!

Have come to the conclusion that he wants special security for his girlfriend to keep her from cheating on him.

but this one takes the cake!

But Patel will bring the full might of the FBI to conduct a nation-wide investigation until he finds out ON WHICH FLOOR!!

And the FBI is going to start with the floor that rash Kash suspects most likely to be his hide-out: the maternity ward!

That’s the quick result of what happens when the FBI is gonna “bring bare all our resources.” Are you shitting me? Who has been stealing from “the Official Dictionary if Republicanese,” and feeding it into statements by real Republicans?? So, he’s going to “bring bare all our resources?” What’s wrong with letting them put their clothes on first? Are FBI resources more efficient when they’re naked? Who writes this stuff for them? Jimmy Kimmel’s staff?

I'll bet he's sitting in the lobby, "INSPECTING" the orderlies wheeling the meal carts to patients' rooms, stealing the random pudding cup.

A lot of people look at Kash Patel and think "I COULD DO A BETTER JOB. My CAT could do a better job."

And, of course, they're right, but that doesn't mean that between trips using the official FBI jet to see his girlfriend, Kash isn't the hardest working man in Washington. Why, I think it's safe to say he works EVEN HARDER THAN TRUMP HIMSELF, which, once again...my CAT.

Trump would probably agree with Emily Litella that we are wasting our time trying to pass an Eagle Rights Amendment.

And you know what it is? It's sending 500 MORE NATIONAL GUARD TO D.C.!

And just who do you think did that?

It is admitted that the Guard being there in the first place is a waste of time and resources and if you listen to Pritzker, it's a long-term plan to be able to send them into Democratic cities during the mid-terms.

Does anyone think a National Guard person could have prevented this shooting? Find the gun? Possibly the cell phone?

The Guard didn't need to be there and trump is only making the situation more dangerous by sending the 500 additional people.

I mean, we've all SEEN rotten little brats in department / toy stores with their moms, screaming "I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT."

And Trump's "ambitions" to militarize the streets of cities like Portland have been met with opposition in the courts, so when he sees an opportunity, he pounces on it.

“Gee. That was really fast, Mr. Patel.”

How does he do it?

There's no need to fear; WonderKash is here!