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Zorro

(18,268 posts) Tue Nov 25, 2025, 01:15 AM Nov 25

White House Reclassifies Nursing As Hobby

WASHINGTON—Describing the practice as a “fun little side project” rather than an occupation, Education Secretary Linda McMahon announced Monday that nursing would be reclassified as a hobby under new student loan regulations.

“While those seeking degrees in veterinary medicine, law, and podiatry will still have access to the full financing available to future professionals, our department will henceforth limit loans for those Americans simply blowing off a little steam by attending nursing school in between shifts at Buffalo Wild Wings,” said McMahon, who questioned the federal government’s role in loaning out money so students could purchase masks, gloves, and stethoscopes for their “fun little nurse costumes.”

“There’s a lot of cutting and sewing in nursing, so it’s really an activity that falls under arts and crafts. Some moms choose to knit, others choose to nurse. Plus, rushing between ER patients is a great way to stay active, just like riding your bike. And what’s also great is you get to brush shoulders with doctors, who can give you career advice should you choose to pursue a real job in the medical world some day.”

McMahon concluded her statement by announcing the loan cap for theology degrees had been increased to $800,000.

https://theonion.com/white-house-reclassifies-nursing-as-hobby/

11 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

White House Reclassifies Nursing As Hobby (Original Post) Zorro Nov 25 OP

'White House' is an ass. elleng Nov 25 #1

Huh? KSL-Washington Nov 25 #2

Let them have a few days without their nurses... 2naSalit Nov 25 #3

Wow shanti Nov 25 #4

I was building up a good head of steam until I glanced down and saw who the source was. Buns_of_Fire Nov 25 #5

I was just about to steam off too, until I looked at the source, The Onion... SWBTATTReg Nov 25 #6

An Onion joke posted like it's a real news story. Liberal In Texas Nov 25 #7

Kick dalton99a Nov 25 #8

I hate it that the Onion strikes so close to reality sakabatou Nov 25 #9

That's EXACTLY what I came here to say. GaYellowDawg Nov 25 #11

Hilarious Sympthsical Nov 25 #10

elleng

(141,827 posts)

1. 'White House' is an ass.

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 03:54 AM

Nov 25

It can measure it's own blood pressure.

KSL-Washington

(13 posts)

2. Huh?

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 04:07 AM

Nov 25

This isn't a funny joke, just an Onion joke. Unfortunately it sounds like something the Wrestling Momma at DOE would say.

2naSalit

(99,293 posts)

3. Let them have a few days without their nurses...

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 04:08 AM

Nov 25

See how that goes.

shanti

(21,779 posts)

4. Wow

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 04:09 AM

Nov 25

Mother was a RN, NICU. She’s rolling over in her grave. Wondering what my MAGA aunt (her sister, and a BSN) feels about this? Luckily we don’t meet up for Thanksgiving.

Buns_of_Fire

(18,946 posts)

5. I was building up a good head of steam until I glanced down and saw who the source was.

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 04:20 AM

Nov 25

As is usual these days, it's all too believable.

SWBTATTReg

(25,916 posts)

6. I was just about to steam off too, until I looked at the source, The Onion...

Reply to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #5)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 07:04 AM

Nov 25

I've got 3 nurses in my extended family, so not so funny in reality, and these deserve our support every second of every day they work, especially in these trying times. I'm glad I read your first line, 'I was building up a good head of steam...' before I realized it was a joke.

Liberal In Texas

(15,867 posts)

7. An Onion joke posted like it's a real news story.

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 07:54 AM

Nov 25

This is click bait. These days it's hard to tell these jokes from reality.

I know, you put the link at the bottom. It really belongs in the subj. line.

dalton99a

(91,461 posts)

8. Kick

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 07:55 AM

Nov 25

sakabatou

(45,596 posts)

9. I hate it that the Onion strikes so close to reality

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 08:01 AM

Nov 25

GaYellowDawg

(5,071 posts)

11. That's EXACTLY what I came here to say.

Reply to sakabatou (Reply #9)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 08:59 AM

Nov 25

Thank you for making the point!

Sympthsical

(10,798 posts)

10. Hilarious

Reply to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Nov 25, 2025, 08:06 AM

Nov 25

I'm currently in nursing school while working, and this got me.

“While those seeking degrees in veterinary medicine, law, and podiatry will still have access to the full financing available to future professionals, our department will henceforth limit loans for those Americans simply blowing off a little steam by attending nursing school in between shifts at Buffalo Wild Wings,” said McMahon, who questioned the federal government’s role in loaning out money so students could purchase masks, gloves, and stethoscopes for their “fun little nurse costumes.”

I like my Littman! But yes, lord, the costs of supplies and everything else is an entire thing.

On the plus side, I do kind of feel like Batman. Get four sets of scrubs, each with a dozen pockets, and then fill those pockets with ten thousand things to have on you throughout the day in hospital.

Then you get home, exhausted, go to take off your scrubs, and ten million alcohol pads come flying out of the pockets for some reason.

I've found glucose strips in my dryer. I dunno what's going on anymore.

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