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SheltieLover

(67,176 posts)
2. Mistaken for a rabid species by lil marco during a psychotic split due to stressors of 4 job titles.
Fri May 2, 2025, 07:15 AM
15 hrs ago

Deported to El Salvadore prison for domestic terrorism.

Taken out by pootin out of jealousy over mineral rights deal.

Hope springs eternal...

Martin Eden

(14,203 posts)
4. Toxic overdose of orange makeup on his face
Fri May 2, 2025, 07:55 AM
14 hrs ago

Mixed with the urine of Russian prostitutes.

C_U_L8R

(47,218 posts)
5. Chronic constipation
Fri May 2, 2025, 08:06 AM
14 hrs ago

During autopsy, pathologists discovered the entire Trump cabinet (Vance, Bondi, Lutnick, Segeth, Rubio and the rest) were so firmly crammed up the deceased President's anus that no hamberder could pass.

niyad

(123,499 posts)
10. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.
Fri May 2, 2025, 09:10 AM
13 hrs ago

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

sop

(13,932 posts)
13. No, a confused Trump didn't scream out "War Eagle!" thinking he was giving Auburn's commencement address.
Fri May 2, 2025, 09:15 AM
13 hrs ago

Yelling "War Eagle!" is fightin' words for folks at the University of Alabama.

republianmushroom

(19,689 posts)
16. Not yet today, but, the day is not over so there still is HOPE.
Fri May 2, 2025, 12:04 PM
10 hrs ago

Really don't care how Lord just do it.

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