Thank you!

It's a touchy subject (no pun intended).

Hopefully this can be a cautionary tale to others.

Cuomo, no flirting necessary - and he may have picked some low hanging fruit.

Just pointing out some differences.

Look at the guy Anna Nicole Smith married.

But you are right that he should tone himself down and try to date women more his age.

It’s usually the employer/employee relationship that creates the unbalance. If some creepy old man asks if he can kiss you, that’s not harassment. If that man is your boss, it might be harassment, because the employee might feel like she can’t say “no” without suffering adverse employment action.

That’s the distinction.

-Laelth

Illegal sexual harassment can come from anyone in the work environment.

In that case, management is siding with the harasser, and that creates the necessary power imbalance.

I don’t think that’s what we’re talking about in Cuomo’s case.

-Laelth

if it happens in the course of employment, as it did to the first two women.

only if it is repetitive after the woman has indicated that she is not interested. But this can depend on the context, too. For example, if he locks his office door after she enters and makes a pass at her, that is more than just flirting.

Or, he might threaten retaliation by making false complaints about her work to her boss if she does not accept his attention. That's coercion, not flirting.

When it is an imbalanced power situation, it is inappropriate because of reasons already given, that she might fear retaliation if she says no. But, if she says no and he accepts it without rancor or retaliation, it's a little more gray. If she says she is uncomfortable around him because he paid attention to her, and he sincerely apologizes for that because he misread her and thought she was interested but now knows he was wrong, it's also a bit gray.

Men can avoid the problem altogether by being strictly professional at work with women. And vice versa, because it does happen the other way around, too.

The occasion when he asked a woman if he could kiss her was a social setting, not work.

on her face, and saying SHE was aggressive. And then landed a kiss on her cheek as she tried to move away.

Yes, this was a social setting. But it shows a pattern of behavior that adds confirmation to the stories of his staffers. He disregarded the woman's OBVIOUS signals -- removing his hand, and giving him that look with her face -- that she didn't want that sort of attention.

your information from, but NPR Buffalo reported that she stepped back to geet away from his hand on her back, not that she removed his hand. Nobody has reported that she said outright, "Don't do that. I don't like it." Maybe she thought that was clear from her body language. Apparently he did not think so.

NPR also reported that he said she was an aggressive woman. So if he likes aggresive women he could think it was a complimentary pick up line. Or, he could have been putting her down with it, using the request for a kiss as mockery. Since there is no recording, we don't know what tone he used, do we? Putting our own spin on it does not get us any closer to the truth.

Where did you hear that he kissed her? NPR and other reports I have heard say that he ASKED if he could kiss her, not that he did kiss her. That fits with the hands on the face in the photo that shows her smiling up at him. If he wanted to kiss her, that is a natural gesture - hands on cheeks, ready to bend down and kiss her, but asking first if it's ok.

All we've got here, as far as I can see, is a single man at a social event trying to pick up a single woman who doesn't want to be picked up by him. Happens all the time in social settings. Boy sees girl, makes a pass. She's cool toward him but he gives it another try, fails, and gives up. Good grief. Happened to my friends and me often in our younger single days.

Mountain out of a molehill.

or your memory didn't catch all the details.

In any case, her body language should be perfectly clear to anyone. After she removed his hand -- and he responded by grabbing her head -- the top half of her face was frowning, with a frown line between her eyebrows. And she had a nervous, weak smile. But he must have taken that pained look as an invitation because, according to the friend who had witnessed the moment, as she pulled away he kissed her anyway.

Link to tweet

which carries the NYT article, does not include the return to the Ruch complaint at the end of the article, where her friend adds details. It does say that Ruch removed Cuomo's hand from her back. It is later, after he asked if he could kiss her, that she moved away, so perhaps that is what I heard on NPR.

Later in the day, on Tuesday evening, Buffalo NPR aired its daily show from Albany, the Capitol Pressroom. The host interviewed Jesse McKinley, one of the authors of the NYT article. McKinley gave some background on how all 3 cases came to light and how the women were interviewed. He discussed each complaint briefly. When he talked about Ann Ruch, he stopped his description at the point where she said that Cuomo put his hands on her face and asked to kiss her. He did not mention at all her friend's claim that Cuomo kissed her on the cheek. I think I understand why. It's the weakest part of the complaint and cannot be corroborated by the complainant herself. She had to ask her friend if he touched her face with his lips. The photo corroborates the part about touching her face, but nothing else.

The strongest, and most concerning complaint is Charlotte Bennett's, IMO. She has documentation and a very good lawyer, the one who handled Dr. Ford's testimony in the Cavanaugh hearing. She will be more credible and Cuomo's reaction to her complaint suggests that he knows that there is substance there. Bennett has asked for other women from the governor's office to come forward. At the end of the interview, journalist McKinley said that other reporters are contacting people and looking into these complaints so he expects more to surface in a few days.

But I believe her about his behavior, and her story supports the other women's claims.

Absolutely wrong.

Harassment does not require an unbalanced power relationship to be actionable - though I'm wondering how you are using the word actionable. Precision may be helpful in understanding. To what actions are you referring?

The worse cast I saw, and resulted in an EEOC finding against the employer, involved a mid-level employee and a vendor. The vendor being the source of the harassment.

Hostile work environment harassment can come from anywhere regardless of the power differential. I think you may be thinking narrowly in terms of quid pro quo harassment which occurs when someone does have authority and uses threat of adverse action.

ICAM. I am with Cuomo until further notice. I hope he stands his ground and do the same thing Donald did when all the women accused him of rape. I think Cuomo is one hot 63 year old man and I would love to have him as my husband and I am 60 years old.He can flirt with me anytime and I would not be offended, but doubt he would find me attractive.

So what old guy (I'm 74 myself) doesn't occasionally dream about dying with their boots on, so to speak? But, as you pointed out, most of us are smart (and mature) enough to realize the difference between reality and fantasy and keep our mouths shut in situations where it is more likely than not to make fools of ourselves.

If the mirror isn't enough to cause some reconsideration, this song should help (Kesha/Dinosaur):

3 young ladies were walking around looking kind of lost. In a normal voice, I said "hello ladies, can I help you find anything". I didn't say Hellloooo ladies. Anyway they went to the manager and complained about my "hello ladies". Manager laughed about it and I learned to never use those 2 words again. On the other hand, if some singer in a Boy Band had said it, there would not have been a complaint.

They probably would have complained with a "Hello ladies" from any male who worked there. A boy band singer wouldn't be working there. Also, you have no idea if they would even be attracted to them or you ie they are straight.

I am twice their age, and I loathe "Hello ladies," too, because it is usually said in a patronizing manner. I am not saying you said it that way, but if often is, by men and women.

I always tried to be nice and helpful to everyone that came in, male or female, old or young. I think my manager knew that and that is why she thought it so funny.

Now around here, or in Tennessee where I lived much of my life, nobody would think a thing of it. Or calling someone "honey" either. It's a southern kind of thing. Some people are SO freakin touchy any more.

nt

and at times refers to women — usually younger women working as waitstaff at restaurants, etc. — with the term “honey.” He means nothing by it, but I have to correct him every time. My dad is as progressive and accepting as they come. It’s a generational thing for him, and it can be hard to change those ingrained behaviors.

do not know ?

it was new to me.

I would be shocked if it was deemed to be offensive.

Many private organizations and especially governmental organizations have standards which apply well before legal boundaries are crossed with the idea being you address such problems before legal boundaries are crossed.

This does need to be investigated to determine if the claims have merit and appropriate action needs to be taken if they do. This is true regardless of whether or not the conduct was illegal.

Exactly! Even the word "harassment" doesn't imply anything necessarily illegal. It's just wrong, and shouldn't be tolerated in the workplace.

In Cuomo's case the claims need to be investigated, and if they are found to be true he should resign, not be prosecuted.

The orange menace, on the other hand, actually assaulted and raped people. HE should be prosecuted.

If EEO laws are broken, the organization is responsible which in this case is the state of NY.

Cuomo could be looking at administrative action in accordance with the state of NY regulations and policies that apply to him, or he could be looking at impeachment or some other action applied by the state legislature. This is a separate matter from whether or not any laws were broken.

There's plenty of examples of organizations who were found to have violated EEO laws and they took no action against the offender(s). There's also plenty of examples of organizations who have fired or took other actions against against offender(s) without any legal repercussions. Two different things which may or may not align with each other.

back in the 60s and up to the mid-90s before (major) corporations began enforcing harassment policies in the workplace. As a woman, I think AC did make highly improper comments. Whether it rose to the level of actual harassment, I'm not sure. For a lot of working women in their 20s and up to their early 40s, they probably haven't ever experienced the kind of rampant boorish male behaviors that someone my age experienced in my youth. I look back on some of the crap that took place in several of the workplaces I've had experience in, and I'm astonished by the recollections. I think some of AC's staff are younger by a couple or more decades than he is, and they simply haven't had to deal with this kind of behavior and comments before.

Do I think he should resign? No, I don't. It appears to me that AC's and Newsome's current struggle in CA with Covid-19 restrictions and the recall attempt, are yet another right wing rethuglican attempt to kneecap the most high profile Dems they can in order flatten the playing field for the likes of Hawley and Cruz et al, and unlike Al Franken, neither should voluntarily give up their jobs.

ETA: If it's true that he planted a kiss - a full-on forceful kiss on the mouth - on one of his assistants/aides, that was out of bounds, and it would in any environment be characterized as harassment.

I agree completely with what you are saying. Women of our overall generation, shouldn't have had to "handle" such situations, but we DID. Our daughters find it hard to believe what we commonly had to "handle" in our younger days. It's great that this behavior does not have to be tolerated or "handled" these days. STILL, I can't work up much sympathy for so many women who complain about men in the public eye AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME to cause them professional problems: the "Roger Stone Specialty." (what happened to Al Franken was a crime). I' can't help but be skeptical when this stuff come out of the woodwork (even when possibly true) at such convenient times. Many politicians of both parties have LOTS of unpleasant behavior in their closets, I'm sure. When such stuff comes out about Republicans (Trump's past should have shut the GOP up forever), they just keep being re-elected.

their golden calf's behavior to this very day. Hypocrites all.

Not sure age has much to do with it, to me its more about not being a dang creep. I was fortunate enough to have early business success and then bought a health club by age 32. Lots of women around. Even at that age its about not being a creep. If a 25 year old wants to flirt with you, great. But always, always, always know when things are not reciprocal.

Guys can be creepy at any age, I have met 20 year old guys with no game who are creepy as hell. I have met 60 year olds where they remain attractive as people, can interact great with beautiful young women, and never be creepy.

Cuomo is a creepy dude in regards to his interactions with females, he was probably a creep at age 17, 27, 37, 47.

That being said, the voters can decide in his next election whether he should continue as governor. No way should fellow Dems pile on and try to bring him down. The voters know what they have in him, good and bad, let them decide.

we've all known men that were complete and total jerks at 25 and 30. Their behavior was cringe worthy and totally out of bounds -- no matter their age demographic. Older guys mashing on younger women -- is just a different form of clueless jerk.

Get a grip people. We just had a crook in the highest office who literally bragged about grabbing women by the pussy. Do not resign, Cuomo. No matter what. From what I've seen, you did nothing illegal. It's all bullshit. Your accusers were probably paid by the jealous QOP to make a ruckus, cause you are popular.

Fact of life... Some women are attracted to older men and lead them on, too.

I've seen it many times, we all have. People flirting with each other regardless of age. They lead each other on. Whether it's tasteless, immature, inappropriate is an individual decision, but it is not sexual harassment!

We'll find out what exactly happened through the investigation.

And I look forward to hearing more from him about the whole thing.

MineralMan, I always appreciate your perspective and agree with you on many things, but this is wrong.

One of the worst sexual harassment situations I have endured was when I was in college. I had a part-time job where my boss kept pestering me to "have lunch." Seems harmless enough, right? He was my boss. When I said no, he would demand an explanation. Other guys on the job pestered me to go out with him. What I thought would be a good stepping stone for my career turned out to be a soul crushing, demeaning, and demoralizing experience. At that young age, I didn't realize I should just quit. I needed the money and thought a bad recommendation would haunt my career.
I started dressing slovenly and developed an eating disorder. My body knew something was terribly wrong, but I didn't know where to turn for help. The day I was hired by my boss' boss, he had told me,"I have taken sexual harassment training, so I will be doing any sexual harassing." Har, har, har.
The day that Anita Hill testified to congress, I walked home weeping. I could finally name the situation. Sexual harassment is more often done with words than with actions. I needed Professor Hill to teach me that and it is a lesson I have never forgotten.

On NPR, I heard part of Gov. Cuomo's apology/excuse. He said something about meaning those things as jokes. Yeah, right. If only women would develop a sense of humor. Cuomo is smarter than that. He knew what he was doing and it was wrong. His day is done.

Sexual harassment includes:
· Actual or attempted rape or sexual assault.
· Pressure for sexual favors.
· Unwelcome touching, leaning over, cornering, or pinching.
· Unwelcome sexual looks or gestures.
· Unwelcome letters, telephone calls, emails, text, videos, or other materials of a sexual or flirtatious nature.
· Unwelcome flirting or talking suggestively
· Using a position of power or trust to get close to someone through words or actions

Just because someone does not say "no" does not mean they consent, particularly in power-over situations. In fact, victims may appear to participate even though it is NOT welcome. So, particularly in power-over situations, the aggressor needs to go out of their way to be sure that the advances are welcome.

Age or gender do not matter here. Position of power does come into play.

I can still admire a Rose without needing to touch or pick it!

But I do still occasionally talk to my plants, even the pretty ones! LOL!

You're just a nice, harmless old man who has the occasional impure thought but never acts on it because you haven't been steeped in the aura of power for decades. Why do we keep reading news about famous celebrities and politicians who are accused of sexual harassment? Because their power gave them a sense of entitlement, which makes them feel like they can help themselves to whatever they want, including women's bodies. Age has nothing to do with it. While it's true that most powerful men behave themselves, obviously many do not, The Former Guy being a prime example. A powerful man knows he can grope and touch and be a pest and get away with it; an ordinary man would risk legal and social consequences. Or maybe he's civilized enough to know that the attractive woman he's having impure thoughts about is also a human being with agency over her own body and that he has no right to do or say anything suggesting he thinks of her in a sexual way.

That Cuomo allegedly asked the woman if he could kiss her instead of just doing it doesn't get him off the hook. If true, he showed that he thought of a woman he didn't even know as a sexual object and had the nerve, which his power gave him, to express that thought. It was offensive as hell; it embarrassed and degraded her, and put her in the impossible position of rejecting an important and powerful man. Whether the allegations are actually true and whether he should resign remain to be determined, but "unwanted flirtation" from a powerful man is a lot more oppressive than the same behavior from some random old fart.

I recognize it. I'm not making excuses for Cuomo, either. I'm questioning whether this should be career-ending for him. I don't think so. I do think it should be a wake-up call for him and others in power.

I don't do that stuff and never have. I find it offensive. So much so that I have avoided making the first move all of my adult life. That has worked just fine.

People flirt, they get turned down. Or not.
Are you suggesting that they are not even allowed to flirt?

It's creepy and invasive. Ick.

it was OK to kiss someone. If he doesn't know, he shouldn't ask if it's OK. It's almost certainly not OK.

However, a lot of guys don't pay attention very well.

On the other hand, one of my most embarrassing moments was when a young woman at my university, who I thought had put me in the "friend zone," asked, "Are you EVER going to kiss me?" I missed her signals somehow. I got over it, though, and did kiss her right then. About six months later, I married her.

Some men - especially the rich and powerful - think they are entitled to help themselves to women's bodies; what the woman thinks or wants doesn't matter to them. They don't pay attention because they don't think they have to.

but is it fair to put ALL such interactions into that category? Or can we agree that some of it might be quite clueless -- without an element of arrogant entitlement? (I've been around some REALLY clueless and clutzy people -- in the workplace, and in personal life)

Edit: not necessarily Cuomo -- he might well fall into the arrogant a-hole category. Just don't know.

Some people are clueless and some are assholes. Sometimes they are both. It's not always as obvious as it was with he-who-must-not-be-named.

it's the "Sound of Silence."
With a Democrat, the media loses their avaricious, infantile minds.

Time the Democrats start calling Republican hypocrites out during media interviews for the hypocrites they are. Never mind the topic, just come out and ask the media host why is it ok for Republicans to cheat on their wives, harass women while the media never says a harsh word. Keep asking til you they get an answer.

When Republicans get asked embarrassing topics, they always change the subject or refuse to address the question. Dems need to take the offensive for a damn change!

Keep it up til fools like Todd et.al have to answer.

very often have relationships with women half their age or less. He wants a young, beautiful, shapely woman and she wants a powerful man who is financially stable who can provide things for her everyone else might not. Happens all the time. Take a look around. It's everywhere to varying degrees. It's not my thing, but everyone has to enter relationships for reasons that are their own.

Chris Rock did a bit on it once. Something like...
The first question guys ask other guys about new women: "What does she look like?"
First question women ask other women about a new guy: "What does he do?"

Lines are crossed in supervisory roles or if the advance persists in the face of refusal.

If he wants a hot young wife, I suggest he sign up with Golddiggers.com. Even if a young woman is interested in older men doesn't mean she's interested in her BOSS! It's a power play and it's got to stop.

When will women have the right to go to work and just be valued for the work they do? Enough of this shit!

Do some research on Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and in particular hostile work environment sexual harassment. While Title VII may not apply outside of the work place when there is no employment relationship between the alleged harasser and the purported victim, the conduct could evidence a pattern of behavior.

Then it's not just creepy, it's career-threatening.

What if the women who said "no thanks" then want a promotion? And Cuomo gets a say in the matter? Can we trust his objectivity? Of course not, which is why this is such a bigger problem than just creepy old men.

I think sometimes older men fail to understand that they can become targets because they have political power. They can't get away with questionable behavior such as these incidents with Governor Cuomo (and others) because it's going to be talked about, it's going to be newsworthy.

A younger guy who also doesn't have political power, well maybe he gets away with acting a little goofy. But like you say, the older guy needs to know that he doesn't get away with it. And he's stupid if he doesn't realize that he will be targeted.

At 18 I was God's gift to women (I still don't understand why they didn't believe me) as well as being 10-feet tall and bulletproof. Now at age 76, I shudder at the stupid shit I pulled back then.

Having two daughters and three granddaughters will get your head straight very quickly.

Most supervisors were men, most would say things to see how you would respond. I never took the bait and they pretty well left me alone. I was surprised how many of the women never had to work as hard as everyone else because they had an "office" job if you know what I mean. So there's always two sides to a story.

and I am finished with this stuff...all the crap that the GOP does and gets aways with, the media demands blood from Democrats...always. I do not believe any of these women and even if true, I don't see the need for him to resign...I have my doubts that the lieutenant governor can win the gubernatorial election...and what a shame if we send a GOP to New York as governor because of our quest for purity from some who should now know better.

Honestly, all the things the media lets GOP get away with makes me feel like Democrats can do anything.

lots of come-on’s by women so his normal radar might be a little rusty.

I agree with your post

... while I don't think he needs to resign, I would not vote for anyone so STUPID as to behave that way while holding political office in the age of Me Too.

Just the world we currently live in.

$$$$ Talks...and because Dems try to Tax the 1% fairly they will always be targets of innuendo and held to a Saintly standard.

Qop'ers only have to stink less then 10 day old garbage.

Cuomo deserves a fair hearing and investigation of FACTS. Only then should minds be made up.

Disclaimer: I am NOT a fan of Gov Cuomo, but he has been elected by the majority of voters in his State so I respect their decision.

IMHO this is not a legal matter (yet), but a moral/ethical one that voters can and should decide at the ballot box. Until the facts prove otherwise he deserves to stay in office.

in today's WaPo that I can't share because of their paywall about a North Dakota state senator and how he's harassing a female colleague so badly that she asked to move her desk clear across the room. It's far more aggressive than anything Cuomo has been accused of, but of course he's a Republican. Never mind he's the father of five. Anyone with a subscription to WaPo, go and read it. Ugh.

What he did was meant as humour, but came off as sophomoric and cringeworthy. People acted as if he was already a Senator when he did that, but he was still a comedian.

I found nothing funny about it, and I'm not sure how many of the public did. Not everything a comedian tries, works. For a very ill-adviced moment, America lost one of the most effective and dedicated Senators it had.

I draw no parallels to the Cuomo situation, but I do think the Franken situation had consequences far more dire than people thought through in the moment.

Does his stupid behavior negate other good things he has done, or might do?

I understand that there is a power dimension at play in situations like this. But--as a woman--I find it odd that the assumption is that women are assumed to have zero agency in these situations. Their role is only and always passive victim. That doesn't seem accurate to me, and it seems insulting. I don't know. These things are tricky. But I don't think Cuomo should resign. I really don't. He should apologize, learn and grow. But what what would be the ramifications of his resignation? What good would come of it--and might something worse follow?

It has nothing to do with harassment. It has nothing to do with nursing home counts. Political forces are trying to eliminate Governor Cuomo by wounding him with multiple, individually insignificant but collectively potentially devastating flesh wounds. They have drawn blood. Bill diBlasio is gleeful. So, probably is Trump. It's a political power play to destroy the governor because he is so popular, powerful and effective. I would love to know who is behind the scene, orchestrating all of this.

So far, no politician has gone to the microphone in his defense. Even AOC is piling on.

May I say thank you to this community. I don't post often but read this content assiduously. I am grateful to each and everyone here.

Erda

eliminating Cuomo.

"I still find young women attractive, because they are attractive." I do flirt with young women to a minimal extent. No touching or kissing etc. Used to have a cleaning lady that was 15 years younger than me and attractive. On occasion she was running late and would get started late in the day. Not having enough time to finish she would tell she would come back in the morning and finish up. I aways suggested she spend the night so she could get an early start. She chuckled and said she would be back in the morning.
When the ME TOO movement was on fire I had a discussion with a couple of lady friends. Told them IMHO flirting is a natural thing, at least for me it is. I have been flirting with members of the opposite sex since reaching puberty. My question to you ladies is... Is there a limit? At what point does it become sexual harassment? They were silent for a moment then one said "touching".
Just my thoughts on the subject.

Of course they smile. They do not have a choice. They rely on tip or a job and can't tell you to knock it off.

Smile? tell them they are cute? My jokingly telling my housekeeper to spend the night was not taken as an assault, she and i had a platonic relationship. And we joked like that all the time.

the next handful of visits and sees if she starts it. Bet she won't. You are joking with her about having sex with you in your implication of spending the night. Mostly women and girls uncomfortably smile or try to move along in the conversation. Y0ou wanted to know if it was over the line, I gave you my opinion.

Some of the best sexual harassment attorney's, in my opinion, are located in your home state of Minnesota. I would strongly suggest that you contact an attorney so they can explain to you sexual harassment and discrimination, before you decide to "mansplain" sexual harassment to women. Sexual harassment attorneys and their clients make (earn) millions from men that have your cavalier attitude in the workplace. My advice - when you go to work.....work! Leering, flirting and suggestive behavior will only get you sued and has nothing to do with....work!

Maybe I've just mellowed out over time, or my humble journey of self-reflection and edification has taken its toll, but some of these responses defending -unwanted physical advances from a boss to his subordinates- are absolutely cringeworthy. "He's our man, yup! If it was me I'd have liked it and those ugly trollops don't know what they're missing! Rah Rah Cuomo!"

The grievous level of combined sexism, misogyny, victim blaming and all manner of other mewling, pathetic "B-b-but it's not sexual harassment if it's our guy!" is obscene, hypocritical and shameful.

Goddamn. I don't even want him to resign, I just want an investigation, but the level of spin some people are putting themselves through to defend him AT ALL COSTS and indeed -even if the accusations are true- (As per a poll currently running with 80% support) makes the Large Hadron Collider look like a child's toy in comparison.

80+% of poll respondents stating that even if Cuomo were -verifiably- guilty of sexual assault to at least three different women, they still want him there...

Whuf. How times change.

Yes it is horrifying that people on this thread are not familiar with our laws on sexual harassment on the job. Best advice: Do not have relationships at work!!!!!

Old, white guys must be given every opportunity to correct their mistakes and to learn the things they should have learned years ago.

I just love it when men try and explain sexual harassment.

But mostly I read this, and look at Cuomo and Franken and think . . .Ew . . .

My whole career, just ew . . . .

I assume that, between the nursing home scandal and the adverse publicity of his inappropriate behavior, Cuomo will be sailing off into the sunset of political oblivion.

Thanks for the post, MineralMan.

It is a clear violation of appropriate boundaries and an assertion of his superior power in a social situation. He knows better. He just doesn’t care.

I think any attorney would agree that Cuomo engaged in sexual harassment; sexual harassment is against the law. Just because Republicans don't hold their leaders to account, does not mean we shouldn't.

In an unequal power structure, when you’re at the top, it’s sometimes difficult to relate to the experiences of those who are not.

Everything you wrote is right on cue. I am older as well, I have always loved women it is something that I guess I was born with, even when I was three years old I would kiss the TV screen when my favourite singers appeared. When I was nine I was in love with a 13 year old, she knew it and she teased me, I even wrote two songs for her on the guitar...Anyway, the admiration for beautiful women has not faded away, but as you point out, the respect and the knowledge that young women don't find young people like us attractive anymore is a reality of life, and if they did it would not matter to me, I love my wife, but the respect must always be there.

I have always found women as equal, when I had my company I always employed women in same numbers as men, if they were qualified, they were hired and they were treated as equal with the same respect as anyone else.

Men in position of power tend to believe that power makes them attractive, and we all know that some women do find power attractive, so Cuomo may still be in that position where he has not matured enough to understand that the playboy ship has been gone for a while, but nonetheless he must be allowed to prove his innocence. Democrats tend to eat their own in matters like this, and that is why I do not agree with Pelosi's comments of siding with the women at this stage when even Cuomo has asked for an investigation.

Cuomo is a good Governor, if he wasn't the republicans would not be trying to do this to him, and I have to think there is some of it behind this situation.

Why is it that no one made a huge fuzz about trump's indiscretions? Why is it always huge news when a Democrat is involved?

I'm at an age where I'm generally invisible to young, attractive women. To me, that's a good thing. Like you, I look (I'm not dead) but would never touch.

It's just creepy.

I think the first thing I ever read from you was a long time ago on MediaWhoresOnline. You posted about rearranging some books at Barnes and Noble. At least I think that was you.

I thought you were younger than you are. It must be your interesting spirit.

Interested if you don't ask?

If we start demanding everyone ne who flirts with, hits on, or propositions somebody at work resign, we will need to make sure AI is as advanced as possible because nobody will have a job.

The one thing that you did not address is the significant power differential between Cuomo and the women he was flirting with. This is where we run into bigger problems. He is not just some "dirty old man" posting anonymously in a political forum. He is the Governor of one of the most powerful states in the United States. Where as you or I can be dismissed with no potential consequences to be suffered by the women we (hypothetically) would flirt with, if Cuomo is insistent, he can do damage to the careers of these women.

I think that the "incorrect" assumptions stem from the fact that Cuomo is very rich, and very powerful. You and I may think "I still got it" but if we go out and flirt with significantly younger women, and get shot down harshly, we will be embarrassed, and we will learn that we definitely "do not have it anymore". Powerful people have an additional mechanism that drives their behavior. To many powerful men, their wealth and power enhances their sense of self and their belief that they "deserve" to have the attention of younger women.

I have not been following the situation closely and ultimately, if the situations involved flirtation with no coercion and threats of retaliation, then I would agree that no laws were broken and likely, a resignation would not be appropriate. I do think that we need to keep conscious of the fact that we are not only dealing with a "dirty old man" type situation with Cuomo. We may be dealing with a very rich and very powerful "dirty old man" who feels entitled to the attentions of young women based on his position of power, which he may abuse to get what he wants.

And I hope he wises up as you suggest. But I frankly don’t think he should be freakin’ crucified for it.

There are people who seem to want his head delivered on a platter.

She could have had brothers, friends watching. If she was my little sister and some drunk punk grabbed her like that he would be picking his teeth up off the floor!

Sex and violence, sex and violence, sex and violence

Somebody wrote a song about that, lol

...no matter where you are on the range of responses to Cuomo, from "no big deal" to "come down on him like a ton of bricks!", is that you ask yourself if your response would be exactly the same if Cuomo were a Republican.

I do think we Democrats are much, much better at being even-handed and non-hypocritical than Republicans. But we're hardly all perfect either.

I haven't settled fully on a opinion yet. After watching Chris Hayes last night, I was in the "resign already!" camp. I don't think I've heard enough to be certain Cuomo's behavior was criminal, but it was creepy, and he should know better. But my "resign already!" feeling isn't fueled by the sexually inappropriate conduct alone, but what Hayes had to say about Cuomo's reputation as a bully in general. I have no sympathy for bullying behavior, and if that reputation is true, it puts "sexually inappropriate conduct" in another light.

I physically cringe every time I see a "Whaddabout all of Trump's sexual harassment?" response.

The acceptable number of proven credible sexual harassment claims against a sitting elected official is 0. Full stop. Do not pass go. Do not look at letter after name.

I don't know if the allegations of Cuomo are credible or not. I'm waiting on the outcomes of the independent inquiry before I make up my mind. I also don't think "fire him!" always has to be the default response. It depends on the seriousness of the acts, how long ago they are, whether they've sincerely apologized and made amends, etc. I don't think Al Franken should have been forced out on the basis that he did sincerely apologize and the behaviour was social awkwardness at best rather than bullying or manipulation.

But "oh well, sometimes girls misinterpret friendly flirting" or "he's a Democrat and we need to stick together no matter what" or "Trump has set the bar at 26 credible accusations so anything under that is fine" are just not good enough.

Asking young women who are seriously harrassed and mistreated at work or anywhere else to "take one for the team because we have an important legislative agenda to press on with" is not good enough.

To any women or man being sexually harassed in the work place, please video and/or audio record this behavior even if recording is against company policy (please note: the predator is violating policy by sexually harassing).

Make sure that you give these recordings to an attorney; sexual harassment is very serious and has very serious consequences. Some states will not allow these recordings in a courtroom and that is ok; they can be released to the public.

Sexual Harassment has no place in the work place, if men/women cannot control their behavior, then they need to find a solitary job.

The issue is about power and workplace harassment. I have been a fan of Cuomo in the past and I'm in the camp that there should be an investigation and let the facts come out. That said, trivializing the issue of sexual harassment by pretending its about how young women react to old guys is not useful.

was at a wedding and she did not work for him.

To me making people feel creepy at a wedding doesn't much matter. The issue is abuse of power in the workplace and any investigation should focus on those accusations. Having too many drinks at a wedding and trying to recapture old glory or something may have made that lady feel uncomfortable but unless he broke the law or had any direct power over her life that impacted the situation it may make him a jerk but probably shouldn't effect his job.

Cuomo exercised poor judgment.

Here's an example of my thought process when I was young, working, slim, and attractive, and was touched inappropriately by an older, married man who was not my boss, but could have become my boss:

Will he be mad, or just disappointed? If he's mad, will he bad-mouth me to his peers? Will he try to have me transferred into his group so he can try to control me? I can't afford to quit or get fired, and there aren't many jobs in this field.

It's not easy for younger women, or young people in general, to be perfectly assertive if they are approached by older men in power.

It's about power and subjugating women. No matter what age a man is, it should never happen. This is not a funny to women who have had to put up with this crap from men their entire lives. WAKE UP!

it's why DU is my fav site!

on an airplane, pretending it was in disapproval of her attire. But a ton of old farts do just that... and worse, they often sanctimoniously justify its righteousness and wind up bragging about it.

I had an older gentleman friend (probably in his mid 70s) ... he would buy my lunch or dinner or coffee ...

He tried to give me a mare and her colt ...

He was never out of line and I always knew that he was just my friend ...

We enjoyed each other’s company ...

I still miss him

...initial thought of me was that "I was a jerk". We have been married for 40+ years. Patience is a virtue...

I'm 83 and lived through my share of harassment. Back in the 1950's and 1960's it was unfortunately part of the culture. When one of my pretty granddaughters asked my advice on what to do about the obnoxious behavior of one of the regular customers at the restaurant where she waitressed, I felt more than sad. I suggested she talk to the restaurant owner who unfortunately told her the customer was always right.

What men do not understand -- especially if a girl is pretty -- is how very difficult it is for a female to navigate in society. All we ask is, as Aretha Franklin sang, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T".